February 21, 2011
- Happy Motorhoming!
Dear Miss Figgins:
My wife and I are just about to retire.
For 4 years we’ve been planning to travel around the country in our motor home. We’ve been excited about our golden future.
Last month our boy called to say he’s getting a divorce, and is moving back WITH US! He has two kids and needs to pay child and wife support. He’ll be broke for a good while.
Ms. Figgins, we love our boy and we have been good parents. We paid for his schooling and helped with his wedding. We’ve even set a little aside for our grandkids college. If we have to now help financially thru this divorce, my wife and I won’t be able to afford our retirement plans.
Can you give us suggestions?
We love him but we’re stuck in a tough place.
John and Mady, Wyoming
Dear John and Mady:
You’re hearts are in a tough place, but you’re not stuck.
You should continue to follow the dreams which you have planned for.
As parents, of course you want to offer your son a safe haven. But it shouldn’t be a free ride. Just as your son has a financial responsibility to his family, if he’s living in your home, he also has a responsibility to you. Otherwise you’re not helping him or you.
Set boundaries of what you expect while your son is staying in your home. Your home is not a crash pad.
After a month of help, set a reasonable amount that he pays for rent. Whatever you set, it will no doubt be far less than a rental.
If he doesn’t live up to his agreement, then he needs to make other arrangements – elsewhere.
No doubt you’ll do it all with love.
Mrs. Figgins
Children Issues,Love,Retirement,advice
