September 21, 2009
- We have no greater charge than protecting the children.
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
I am a mother of 2. I was sexually molested when I was 11 years old by my brother who was 13. It continued until I was 13. While there was no outright rape, it was fondling. That fondling wasn’t just a moment that could be misinterpreted or taken as a child’s cruel dream.
We are grown and each have our own small children. Since our first year in college my brother and I have lived in separate states. He and his family are moving close by and want to start doing things together as a family.
My mind tells me that he was just a kid himself when this happened and I should forgive and forget. My gut tells me that allowing a relationship with him again is a very bad idea.
Trying to do the right thing.
Dear Trying:
There is only one right thing: PROTECT THE CHILDREN.
Under no circumstances ever leave any or all of your kids with your brother, at his house or anywhere he might be, where your kids can be out of your direct eyesight.
Decline any personal invitations from him for any reason. Forever.
If you must attend a family gathering such as a wedding, make certain the kids are never out of your reach.
You are correct. There is no misinterpreting what happened to you. It wasn’t a mere bad dream, it was a cruel reality at the hands of your brother, and he should not be trusted alone with any child.
Showing compassion to evil does not make us better people and certainly doesn’t serve us well in protecting the innocent.
As a child you were powerless to protect yourself, but as a parent you and your husband have the power and the responsibility. There is no greater charge than protecting your children.
Mrs. Figgins
Children Issues, Love, One Village, Topics, advice
