February 20, 2010
- Keeping it sweet.
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
I am stationed in Germany, and in a long term relationship with the most wonderful girl next to my Mother.
We’ve had our ups and downs. The ups are incredible. The downs scare me because they are usually my doing. I’m too proud, too arrogant, too right, too cool, too busy, too detached, and too completely stupid. These are my words not hers.
I’m behave so STUPID sometimes, I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.
This is the girl I want to marry, and spend my life with, and grow a family with.
I don’t want to lose her, but I know I could.
What can I do to stop myself from screwing things up?
Jack, Berlin
Dear Jack:
The world may change, but the fundamental things in life will always apply.
Relationships take work. Equally as important relationships take commitment, desire, loyalty and a large dose of selflessness.
Crying a mia culpa over and over won’t work in the long run. If you want to have a life with this girl, you best get yourself together and make some long term changes in your behavior.
Here’s what my beloved grandparents lived by.
“Sometimes we just need to simply stand back and ask: ‘Is what we’re arguing about so important? Is my being right so important? If the answer is an unequivocal “yes”, then stand up for what you believe is right. If the answer is “no”, then drop it like a hot potato, and move on.
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DO NOT BLAME.
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DO NOT CRITIZISE.
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Show LOVE, AFFECTION, and COMPLIMENT your spouse every day.
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Make it about “WE” not “me”.
Sounds simple? It really is. Life doesn’t have to be complicated.
As long as you both have integrity, loyalty and commitment, you won’t go wrong.
Try it the old fashioned way, Jack. It works.
Mrs. Figgins
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