January 13, 2010
- Family Values A Tradition
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
I am third generation Chinese American. My boyfriend was born in China.
We have not had sex yet but have gotten pretty close.
I’m afraid that if we do go all the way, there may be problems between us later, and he may not respect me. If his parents ever found out, I think they wouldn’t accept me.
Sometimes I feel like we’re worlds apart, and I don’t know what to do because one we’re together, neither one of us wants to wait.
Lee
Dear Lee:
If you have such a lack of control, then my advice is that you two stick to going out in a group.
No matter what your background or who you are dating, sex outside of marriage should not be an option.
Moreover, there is a long-standing belief in Chinese culture that women must be virgins when they marry.
In a survey a little over a decade ago, a survey showed that 40% of Chinese couples didn’t kiss before marriage, and approximately two decades ago most marriages were arranged and dating was virtually unknown.
Even today in the more liberal world we live in, a majority of Asian women do not have sex outside of marriage.
The commitment to marriage is sacred. As it should be.
Mrs. Figgins
Love,Relationships,advice
