Ask Mrs Figgins
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Dreams of Grandeur

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I’m beyond stupified.  My husband Massimo and I have never believed in debt.  The kids are grown up and we’ve finally been able to save up for a new small car we can pay cash for.

Last week he told me that he has seen a doctor and wants a penis implant.  It’s going to be a few thousand dollars!   There goes our new car! 

I don’t want to sound stupid but why on earth would any man want to plant something in his penis when it’s not necessary!     

I hate to spoil his fantasy but what if it doesn’t work?  He’s just not thinking straight!  

After all, I think it’s been working just fine up to now.  

Isn’t my opinion important, too?  

Gerardina, Toms River 

 

Dear Gerardina:

I guess Massimo doesn’t’ want to settle for a compact when he can get a stretch hummer.    

Yes, your opinion is important and it sounds like this is important to him, too. 

You should both sit down and discuss all the pro’s and con’s, as there are potential  penile implant surgery risks, which include: infection, tissue erosion around the device, migration of the device, pain and malfunction.

Let your husband know that as far as you’re concerned all his parts are in perfect working order and in no need of repair.  

Mrs. Figgins

Love, Retirement, advice