December 5, 2009
- When should be enough…isn’t.
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
My husband Jake and I have been married for 24 years. We raised three children, all grown up now.
I am an employee, and work a full work week. Jake is an independent contractor so his schedule is much more flexible than mine.
Throughout the years, Jake has always taken fishing trips with his guy friends two or three times a year. The last four years he has taken extended trips with friends or by himself that have nothing to do with fishing.
Last year he informed me had a sexually transmitted disease. For my sake he had to tell me, but refused to discuss the details of how he got it!
I put 2 and 2 together and was stunned and brokenhearted for the obvious reasons.
This February Jake is leaving on another vacation. Again, he doesn’t want to discuss it, other than to say over and over that the fact that he comes back home “should be enough”.
I don’t want to break up our marriage, 99.9% because of my children. Anyway, it may well be too late to start my life over, but I am broken inside and I don’t want to be in the same house with him. It’s no longer enough.
I need help.
Marge, Boise
Dear Marge:
Well, you get an A+ for math and your sense of smell seems to be pretty good too, because something sure is fishy.
A marriage is a partnership based on love, respect and trust. The respect and trust may be irreparably broken.
If you have any doubts about staying with Jake – seek marriage counseling.
If “should be enough” just isn’t any longer – then it’s time for you to take a trip of your own – right on out the door.
Your kids are grown up now. They should understand and be very supportive once you explain the situation.
Abraham Lincoln said: “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years”.
It’s never too late, Marge. Life does count, at any age.
Mrs. Figgins
Children Issues,Love,Retirement,advice
