November 2, 2010
- Secrets?
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
I am 25 years old. I’ve been “involved” for 4 years with a man who is in the military.
We see each other whenever he’s home.
He writes and calls every week. For 3 years he’s told me he wants us to marry but wants to “wait for the right time” to announce it to his parents and the world. Well, that time never seems to come. I love him and I want to marry him.
We were last together in June for two weeks. Everything was great until two days before he left. All of a sudden, he was detached, even cold. He left town a day early saying he had a “secret” stop to make. So secret, he couldn’t tell me any of the details. I thought it was a military secret!
Since then, he has only called once, and admitted that he needed to get away for a couple of days to “think”. He says he’s ashamed he had to lie, but needed time to figure out what he wants to do when he comes back home. I asked him if there is another woman and he says there isn’t. I’ve not heard from him since.
I’m close to his family and they’ve told me that he’ll be coming home for the holidays. I don’t want drag them into the middle of this, but I miss him so much and want to see him.
What can I do to talk some sense into him, and let him know how much I love him?
CK in Fla
Dear CK:
Don’t drag his parents into your drama, and don’t chase him when he visits his family during the holidays. If you do, he may well start the cycle all over again. And if he does, so will the deceit. Is this what you want for your future?
He’s moved on. You need to have the self respect to do the same.
Go out with your friends and be open to new experiences.
Your best years are still ahead. Don’t waste them.
Mrs. Figgins
Love,Relationships,advice
