November 17, 2009
- It’s time.
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
My boyfriend Daryn and I have been together for 3 years. He is from the west coast, I am from the east coast.
We met in college, graduated, and because we were planning on getting married, I moved to the west coast to be with him.
The problem is we have been living with his family – his entire family (mother, father two sisters and one brother). Our move with his family was to be temporary, maximum 2-3 weeks, while we got ourselves settled. It has now been 18 months and counting.
His mother waits on him from the time he opens his eyes, until we go to bed at night. Everyone else has a piece of Daryn at will too, including “friday night basketball with his friends”. By the time we finally have time together, he wants sex and then it’s “goodnight”.
I’ve talked and pleaded with him until I’m blue in the face. All he says is “be patient, we have a good thing going.”
I come from a very traditional and loving family. While they didn’t agree with my move, they’ve been supportive in every way. My parents as well as my sister are very concerned over my situation. They are willing to come help pack up, and take me back home.
Mrs. Figgins, we love each other and I don’t want to just give up, but I don’t want to be blind to the signs of “trouble ahead” right in front of me. I’m old enough to know that life is not simple, but this is not what I believe to be normal either.
Did I move with him too soon? Please tell me what you think!
Sarah from Maine
Dear Sarah:
Yes you did, but fortunately it wasn’t down the aisle.
You need to think of your future, Sarah. Your boyfriend has some growing up to do, and the signs couldn’t be more clear.
At this time you need support, which your parents and sister have lovingly offered. Let them.
It will make your journey home a little easier.
It’s time.
Mrs. Figgins
Love,Relationships,advice
