July 26, 2010
- Oh boy…kids!!!
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
I am a 34 year old man who has been in a relationship with a woman for several years. She has a seven year old son from a previous marriage. I would like to have a child of my own as well, and I brought up that desire since we’ve planned to get married in the near future. The problem is she doesn’t want to have another child, mainly because of her age (39) and fear of having a sick child.
Of course she is not getting any younger and continues to resist the idea. I just don’t know what to do. I would feel very guilty of breaking this relationship and hurting her, as well as her son with whom I developed a bond over the years.
Although, he does have a father in his life who shares custody. Also, my parents are devastated she doesn’t want kids with me and it’s all taking a toll.
I just don’t know how to handle this in the best way.
Thanks for your time.
Allen
Dear Allen:
She has been very honest with you about her feelings. And, her reasons for not wanting another child is understandable, and not because she doesn’t love you.
In turn, you must search your heart and figure out if her decision is something you can live with, or if you’ll resent it in the future.
If your desire to have a child is ultimately important – staying in a relationship out of guilt is not a good enough reason.
The best way to ever handle anything is to be honest.
You must be courageous, kind and let her know the reason you breaking off the relationship because of your desire to become a father.
Time will take care of the rest.
Mrs. Figgins
Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!
Children Issues,Love,Relationships,advice
