December 1, 2009
- Don’t be afraid to reach out.
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
My wife and I have been married for 3 years. Her behavior is destroying our marriage. I don’t know how much more I can handle.
Sometimes she stays in bed for days. And sometimes she’s absolutely great for days, except when she goes on shopping sprees and racks up the credit cards. Then cycle starts all over again.
She’s mentioned suicide once. I don’t really believe she would do such a thing but I’m not sure of anything anymore. Her father was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Honestly, she is so irrational; it makes me feel like the one who is going crazy.
We’ve always talked about having kids but I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want to risk bringing kids into this relationship.
Any suggestions?
Philip, Cleveland, Ohio
Dear Philip:
Your wife needs help. So do you, because you can’t do this alone.
First, let me say that if there are thoughts of suicide, contact a healthcare professional, loved one, friend, or 911 immediately.
I am not a physiatrist. This said, it is possible your wife may have symptoms of depression or bipolar disorder. While the causes of bipolar disorder aren’t completely understood, it can run in families.
The mania or depression can last for weeks, months, or even for years. The disorder can take the form of frequent dramatic mood shifts.
Education is an integral part of treatment. Persons with bipolar disorder, as well as their family, benefit by understanding the disorder- its symptoms, early signs, and types of treatment.
Being able to get an accurate diagnosis is the first step in bipolar disorder treatment.
You need help too. Reach out:
Hotlines:
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National Institute of Mental Health
866.615.6464
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National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
800.950.6264 (800-950-NAMI)
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National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression (NARSAD)
800.829.8289
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National Hopeline Network 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE) http://www.hopeline.com/
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National Suicide Prevention Helpline 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK)
Mrs. Figgins
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