October 11, 2009
- Who we really are when no one is looking.
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
I’m 19 in college. My parents have been separated for years though never divorced. I am their only child.
I’ve always gotten along well with my father and we’ve gotten closer the last few years.
I found out by accident that my father has been seeing my friend’s Mother who is married! I’m not a prude but I believe in doing the right thing and this is not it! I can’t imagine doing this to anyone! What about my friend’s father! What about my mother! What about my friend when he finds out! What about that these grownups should know better. I’m barely still a kid and I know better!
I’m embarrassed, appalled, and don’t know what to do because my parents are helping me thru college.
Too young for this!
Dear Too Young:
“Life” is no respecter of age – and unfortunately, there is no vaccine for bad behavior.
I’m truly sorry for the difficult situation you have been put in. It is important for you to know that this has nothing to do with you. You should not bear any sense of guilt or shame.
Your parents did something very right, because you do know right from wrong, and are a young man with a sense of value and integrity.
Your father and mother have been separated for years, but this doesn’t excuse his betrayal, lack of honesty and total disregard for others. You are correct that there are many people that stand to get hurt.
This situation is not one you should take on, nor can you fix it. Only your father can. This is his mess to clean up.
Talk with him and let him know your feelings and the reality of how many will get hurt. Hopefully this will be a “shot across the bow,” for him to do the right thing.
You must then leave it up to him.
Move forward with your school and your life. Hang on to your values for it will make your character strong and your road ahead clear.
“Character is much easier kept than recovered.“ Thomas Paine (1737-1809)
Mrs.Figgins
Children Issues,Love,Relationships,advice
