Ask Mrs Figgins
- Free Advice & opinion on everyday issues – marriage, children, friendship, love, etiquette, politics & faith – dispensed by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

A marriage must have love & trust.

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

 I’ve been dating a great guy for eighteen months.  We met our senior year in college and things really clicked between us from the start.   

He recently proposed.  That night he confessed that he had worked at a men’s strip club while going thru college.   He said it was to help him pay for college and that he didn’t know how to tell me at first.  He says he loves me and wants to spend his life with me.  

This has bothered me day and night.  Not that he was a stripper, but that he never said a word until the night he proposed.  I’m wondering what other secrets he hasn’t shared?   

I paid my own way thru college, and I didn’t have to strip.

Can I trust him?  Should I trust him?   

Not Sure.   

 

Dear Not Sure:    

You can be sure of two things:   The first and more important is that you need more time.  The second, is that there were other options for work.     

Setting a wedding date may push this issue aside for a while, but unless you resolve it within yourself, it will resurface.   

There’s a wise Chinese proverb:  “If you suspect a man, don’t employ him, and if you employ him, don’t suspect him.”     

I dare say the same applies to love and marriage.  If you don’t trust, don’t marry, and if you marry, trust. 

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice