November 4, 2009
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Mistress named “Gambling”
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
I suspect my sister’s husband Rudy has been cheating, but not with the usual accomplice. It’s with a gambling table.
Lisa and Rudy moved to California, in an area where there are several casinos within a short driving distance. I’ve overheard the kids talk about their Dad and Mom arguing about the casino “again”. Lisa has also made reference to Rudy liking to play a little too much.
It’s pretty obvious that they’ve become pretty strapped for money. Although they each still work, she’s had to get a second job.
I’m trying to be the gambling patrol, but do you know how to tell if he really has a problem?
Sister Detective in CA
Dear Sister:
A gambling addiction is a mistress, too – and can destroy a family. Gambling for relaxation is a red flag.
Compulsive gambling is an illness, progressive in its nature, which can be treated or arrested, but not cured.
The following twenty questions by Gamblers Anonymous are provided to help any person decide if he or she is a compulsive gambler, and importantly if that person wants to stop gambling.
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Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
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Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
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Did gambling affect your reputation?
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Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
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Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
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Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
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After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
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After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
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Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
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Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
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Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
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Were you reluctant to use “gambling money” for normal expenditures?
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Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
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Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
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Have you ever gambled to escape worry, trouble, boredom or loneliness?
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Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
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Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
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Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
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Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
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Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?
Most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions.
Let Lisa and Rudy know that there is help.
Gamblers Anonymous:
Telephone in Los Angeles 213.386.8789
Mrs. Figgins
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