February 24, 2010
- Appropriate Gifting
Dear Mrs. Figgins:
A dear and longtime friend at work invited my family to her nieces wedding. They are a traditional Vietnamese family.
I have 2 questions:
First: One of my friends said that “cash” is what is usually given in Vietnamese weddings. Is this true or are there other appropriate gifting options?
Next: My son, who attends college out of state will graduating and moving back home. He’ll be here for the wedding.
He has wanted to ask my friends daughter out on a date. They’ve kept in touch on facebook and seem to like each other.
He’s asked me for advice on any cultural differences on dating, but I haven’t the slightest idea what they are?
Can you shed some light?
Clueless in Nob Hill
Dear Clueless:
In traditional Vietnamese weddings money in crisp new bills (no checks) inserted in a wedding card or a red or gold envelope is a usual gift. You may personally give it to the couple or place it in a designated box near the guest book.
However, it is perfectly appropriate to select a gift from their chosen registry. I would suggest including a gift receipt.
With regards to any cultural differences with dating. The best advice is for your son to be a gentleman, and expect very traditional dating.
As with most Asian cultures, the extended family is extremely important. He should be punctual, well groomed and respectful. Many eyes will be closely watching.
As you have already found with your friend, the Vietnamese culture is welcoming and once you’re “in” you’ll be warmly embraced.
Mrs. Figgins
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