Ask Mrs Figgins
- Free Advice & opinion on everyday issues – marriage, children, friendship, love, etiquette, politics & faith – dispensed by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

The art of the picnic.

 

 

Plan a romantic al fresco picnic for two, an intimate group of friends or the entire family. 

Picnics are special, affordable and a fun way to show you care.   They build wonderful memories. 

Create simple snacks, lunch, hors d’oeuvres or light dinners.  

The initial investment for the staples (picnic basket, blanket & accessories) can range from the very affordable to extravagant.  However, once you have the staples, your costs will be mainly for the food and drinks. 

Rule #1:  MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A BREEZE.  

Don’t over pack!  Remember it’s the quality of the time spent together, enhanced by elegant simplicity.  It is not the quantity of things you schlep.   

Location:  If you know of a great picnic spot, stick with it.   A new location can bring unwanted surprises, so if you’re selecting a new location, make sure to take a dry run.  

Your picnic area should be reasonably close to your auto.  Expect that you’ll need to return for one thing or another.

Check List: 

• Picnic blanket

• Picnic basket with accessories.   There are many lovely disposable accessories, including plates, cutlery, water glasses, wine glasses, napkins (make sure to pack plenty).   Try them, you’ll like them!    You don’t want to schlep unnecessary items back to wash at home.  You’ll want to relax after a lovely picnic.

• Small cooler (optional).

• CD (not too loud if there are others close by!)

• Food

• Drink 

• Candles for evening rendezvous!

Back up:  Check the weather conditions ahead of time.   In areas where the weather is unpredictable, have a back up location.   Indoor spots can be every bit as wonderful.

Picnics are supposed to be fun.  Once you master the romantic art of the picnic, you’ll be hooked!

Leave your worries behind and make beautiful memories. 

 

Check out Mrs. Figgins picnic food & drink ideas!

How To,Love,More Finds,Relationships,Retirement,advice

Don’t be stupid!  THINK!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

Can a person fall in love at first sight?

 I just met a great guy this past week and it was like instant between us.    He is 32, and I am 20.

He said he knew the minute I walked in that he was going to marry me.   The only problem is he lives in another state. 

Yesterday before he left he asked me to move with him next month.  I know it may be too soon for some people but I’m considering it!

My parents have been away on vacation so I haven’t had a chance to tell them yet.   

How do I tell them that we fell in love at first sight?  I want their support.

Am I stupid?

 

Dear Stupid:

YES.

Stupid is as stupid does – and you’re in for a world of trouble if you don’t get your wits about you.

You may be instant “in like” but love is nowhere in sight at this point.  

Love takes time, and one week doesn’t give you enough time to figure out what kind of socks to buy him at Christmas.

You don’t know this guy.    You’ve never met his family or know his friends.   You don’t know the first thing about his past other than what he may have told you over a starry eyed milk shake. 

Any guy that would ask you to move in and hasn’t even met your parents is not the one. 

Only time will tell you if “like” will turn into love, and stupid can turn into smart.   It’s time to think about choices and consequences.

Mrs. Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com  

Free advice on everyday topics dispensed by Mrs Figgins with straightforward common sense and good old fashioned values! 

 

Love,Relationships,advice

Don’t bank on this ROI

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My boyfriend, whom I’ve been dating for 11 months.

We’re both 32 years old.  I have had a steady job since I was first out of college and have saved a good amount of money for my retirement. 

We’ve talked about marriage someday but nothing has been set yet.

He’s asked me to invest in his new venture.  I really don’t want to but if we’re going to have a future together I think it will show trust.

Looking for an emotional return on investment.

 

Dear Emotional:

Emotions and investments make for a down market in more ways than one.   

Your future hopes are at big risk on this one – and so is your money. 

He can’t commit on marriage and you want to commit your retirement dollars on him? 

Don’t bank on this ROI.

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,Retirement,advice

Make sure you’re not clipped too short!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

For the past 8 months I’ve been dating René.  I met him at my sister’s house, who lives out of state.  He’s kind, thoughtful, romantic, and I’ve grown very fond of him.  

He is a hairdresser at a small beauty salon.   I’m an attorney and make a handsome living, although he doesn’t know about my finances yet.   Actually, I’ve always traveled to see him.  He’s never been to my house.  

René says he loves me and wants to plan a life together. 

Is it necessary to spill the beans about my finances at this point?  

Madeline

 

Dear Madeline:   

René hasn’t even been to your house yet – therefore it’s wise to keep the beans close to the vest.   

Once you know more about each other then, tell him about your situation.  

A pre-nup may be a smart idea, so you don’t get clipped too short!  

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice

 

Clean this mess up NOW!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:  

I’m  19 and dating a 23 year old.  There is a huge part of me deep down that knows he’s not the one, and I admit (at least to you) that I don’t trust him much.  He’s treated me pretty badly.  He’s never been physically abusive, but he has been extremely emotionally and verbally harsh.  It gets worse when he drinks.

He’s being deployed next month..  My gut is that I should just tell him now that I don’t want to continue our relationship.  But my other feeling is that maybe it would be the honorable thing to wait and not tell him now, especially when he may be going off to war.  He’s using his deployment as a reason for us to be sexually intimate.  My faith doesn’t allow this.  

If I tell my Mother (forget telling my Dad), her answer would be for me just to tell him it’s off NOW.

Mrs. Figgins, I just don’t know what to do.  I’m not the confrontational type, so maybe that’s why I’m in this state.

He’s off war and I’m in a mess! 

 

Dear In A Mess:

Let me start by saying that both your Mom and Dad would be very proud that you held on to your faith and made the right decision regarding pre-marital sex.  The other choice may have been life altering.

Your Mother is wise:  Tell him it’s off NOW. 

I hope this ordeal has made an indelible mark on the choices and decisions that you make along your path.   

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice

Sometimes we just need to get our head out of the sand!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I am 23 years old and have developed a crush on one of my friends.   He tells me he’s had strong feelings for me for a long time and can’t get me out of his mind.   He wants to date.

There is just one little problem:  my best friend since childhood has feelings for him, too.    He tells me he doesn’t feel the same about her.   I know he’s led her on, making her think there might be a possibility of a relationship between them some time down the road.  

All along he’s been seeing other girls and not fessing up.   He says he hasn’t told her that there’s no chance between them romantically because he loves her as a “friend” and doesn’t want to hurt her feelings.   They’ve been friends for a long time, too.  I’m not sure how to handle this?

I’m stuck in the middle!

 

Dear Stuck:

UNSTICK and QUICK!!!

Good friends last a lifetime -“crushes” don’t.  

He’s led her on.   What  makes you think you are going to be any different?

This is not worth losing a lifetime friend over – and this guy doesn’t sound like a good bet at any table.   

Life has a wonderful way of sorting things when we get out of the way.

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice

 

Ahhh…Chivalry.

 

Hello Mrs. Figgins: 

The Mom of a friend of mine reads your letters and I got this idea to write.  I’m embarrassed to ask anyone else so I’m going to try you.   

I’m 16 years old and I want to ask this girl out on a date, not sure where yet.  She is 16 and likes me too.   

My family is Baptist.  Her family is Mormon.   

How do I make a good impression?    I hope you get this note on time.

Mitchell    

 

Dear Mitchell:     

This is the perfect to time for you to start becoming a a gentleman.  Chivalry is a virtue, and virtues can be learned. 

If you want to make a good impression, with a young lady of any age, make sure you begin and end with respect.

Mormons place tremendous value on family.  Therefore, if you’re going to ask  her on a date, introduce yourself to her family, first.   

If her Mom and Dad give the OK,   I strongly suggest you invite the young lady to join you along with few other friends.  A school ballgame is a great idea.  

If her parents are not in favor of allowing a date at this time, you can hold your head high and know you did everything the right way.   

If it’s thumbs up, keep things very light, fun and clean.  

Don’t try to get to first base or you’ll be handed your first set of walking papers, right on out the door. 

Good luck, Mitchell.   

Mrs. Figgins 

Love,Relationships,advice

Right Way!    Wrong Way!    You Choose.

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I am 20 year old college student and feel totally suffocated by my parents.   

We are Mormons and my Mother and Father  will be  destroyed when they find out I want to live off campus with my boyfriend.  

He is the man of my dreams and I want to move forward with my life and not live by my parent’s unreasonable rules. 

We want to be responsible and don’t want to get married until we both graduate, but can’t wait to start our life together.

Wanting Freedom!

 

Dear Freedom:

In life, everything has a price.  Commitment has a price, and so does freedom.   This is true, regardless of whether you are Christian, Mormon, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Buddist, Gay or Straight.   

No doubt, your parents have worked very hard to pave a good foundation for your life’s journey.   This includes paying for your education, which is a gift from them because they love you.  It is not an automatic right.  Don’t destroy this  for yourself.      

Living together with your boyfriend before marriage is not the right thing to do.  Because of your upbringing, you know this deep down.

Mr. Dreamy will be there “if” he’s worth it.    He will only be there in the long run, not because you made things “easy”, but because you were worth waiting for.    If by chance, he turns out not to be the guy of your dreams…just think how much wiser and sweeter your decision to wait would have been.  

This is what you will want someday when you are a parent.   This is what your parents want for you.

Do the right thing.  Wait.

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,Topics,advice

Walk Off Grand Slam?

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I think I got myself in a situation I’m not sure how to get out of or, possibly into.

I’m married with twins, a girl and a boy.   My wife Sandy takes my little girl to her after school activities, and I take my son to his little league practice.

One of my son’s friends Mom is always there at practice and we’ve gotten pretty close.   She’s married with 3 kids.

I’ve always thought Sandy and I had a good marriage, but now I’m not so sure?   The other woman and I have gotten close, and I think I’m falling for her.

Sparks are flying!  What should I do?

 

Dear Sparky:

Take a cold shower, and park that ego.

Your friend has her own family which includes 3 kids.   Those bases are already loaded, and you’re looking at a strike out.  

Get your wits about you before you lose your family.   Most importantly, before you selfishly affect your children’s lives.  

Invest more time and love into your marriage.   It will begin a cycle of giving and returning between you and your wife that will reignite your home field.

You have a son, a daughter, and by your own words a good marriage.  This is your walk off grand slam.

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice

Children In The Middle

 

Dear Mrs Figgins:

My husband and I marrie after an affair.  His kids totally blame me.  They have told me that our child and dad are part of the family but I never will be. 

My husband thinks it is ok to take our son ( Will, 2 1/2) to family events but I am not allowed to go.  Also most often the ex is there.  I have never met her.  She refused to allow me to be around,. It has been 13 years. 

We have been married 4.  Am I right to not have Will go? 

To me it is like my husband is accepting this behavior and secondly with mom not allowed it is like saying  mommy is bad( see what she did).

Child caught in middle

 

Dear Caught In The Middle:

You as well and each of your children is your family now.  However, this does not mean the extended family from a former marriage unless you are “all” included.   

As for the “blame” your husband is a grown man, and he needs to explain to his children that divorce was a decision that their mom and he made together.  He should not play the victim.

He needs to set the example and the boundaries.

Mrs. Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Children Issues,Love,Relationships,Topics,advice