Ask Mrs Figgins
- Free Advice & opinion on everyday issues – marriage, children, friendship, love, etiquette, politics & faith – dispensed by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

 

So much to do!

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

Recently I started a job which I like very much.  I’m lucky to have the job in this economy, but I think that I’m underpaid for all the things I’m responsible for!

A couple of my co-workers who have been there for a few years do very little by comparison to the load I have. 

As a matter of fact I think one of them is playing hanky-panky with the boss.   I don’t’ if there’s an affair going on, but I’m getting darn sick and tired working twice as hard with no benefits.

Should I say something?

Unappreciated

 

Dear Unappreciated:

Be careful or you might find yourself with benefits soon—from the unemployment department.

If you’re good at your job, your boss will recognize your worth, and he or she won’t want to lose you.   There’s a saying, “the crème rises to the top”.  

If you remain unhappy then you might want to begin looking elsewhere. 

If there’s any hanky-panky going on, it’s not your business.  Stay focused on your work,  so that the benefits you do get you can take to the bank.

Mrs. Figgins

Love,advice

 

Out.

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins: 

I’m a successful man, who has just come out of the closet.  I’m blessed to have a great family.  Everyone has been extremely supportive of my decision as well as of my relationship. 

Recently I went to a school reunion and told a few of my old friends.  Some of where shocked, and had questions.   I’ve since received invitations from friends to get together with them at their families for the holidays. 

The problem I’m having is that I don’t know if the invitation is about friendship or curiosity about being a token gay friend.  

Don’t know if I should trust? 

 

Dear Not Sure: 

You obviously felt that the old friends you did come out to were worth your trust. 

Life doesn’t have any guarantee for any of us, under any circumstance, and there will be “friends” that turn out to be a disappointment.  But you need to believe that you have friends that truly care about you and worth you friendship.  

Your apprehension is understandable.  And yes, unfortunately it is still uncomfortable for most gay people to take that step out of the closet. However, distrusting people because you think they will judge you for being gay is an old concept, and crippling.   

Who we are as human beings is what are ultimately judged on.     

Trust that if we face life with integrity, it will be a wonderful ride full of priceless memories.  

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,Topics,advice

 

Give him this one!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins: 

My boyfriend and I are both in our 30’s, both professionals and have been living together.   He’s always been a reasonable guy. 

Recently he came home with a  soda pop girl costume and wanted me to wear it while we’re having sex.  Last week he showed up with  an army pinup costume, including a medic hat and boot cuffs.  I was so uncomfortable but didn’t dare spoil his “fun”.

Honestly, what on earth could all this be about?   Should I be worried?   I don’t want to marry a guy who’s so kinky that I have to be on stage every time we make love.

Should we seek counseling or maybe talk with our Rabbi?

Soubrette in Nebraska

 

Dear Soubrette:

The Rabbi is probably not a good idea. 

I agree it is rather kinky, but no more so than many of the stories I’ve heard in my travels. 

Why don’t you try coming up with some costumes of your own for him?  How about a Gladiator costume with chest armor or full Batman get up?  Maybe he’ll get the hint before too many more curtain calls.

If this doesn’t work you might want to rethink this duo before the bells ring.

Good Luck!

Mrs. Figgins 

Love,Relationships,advice

 

Signs

 

Dear Mrs Figgins, 

My Aunt June has always been very independent, been married twice, and has had no children.  She’s also quite well off. 

Recently she’s been acting odd and quite removed.  On several occasions has completely “forgotten” that we were picking her up for important family functions, including my Mom’s birthday party. 

I don’t believe Aunt June has ever had a drinking problem although she’s always enjoyed her toddies.

 One of the neighbors says she was out in the cold rain in “shorts” walking around the garden the other day.  And mentioned that there’s been a younger gentleman friend visiting her at all hours.    All this is June’s business of course but she’s 84 years old! 

What if this guy is taking advantage of her?   Do you think it’s possible she has Alzheimer’s? 

What can we do to help her if she’s in need? 

Scared Sarah 

 

Dear Sarah, 

You are correct to be worried, on all counts.

Contact the nearest Department of Social Services and express your concerns.   They will be able to guide you on what steps you should take to get for Aunt June.

Our sincere Thanks to the University of Southern California for the following information regarding the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease.

Mrs Figgins

 

usc.edu/memory

 

 

NOT A SENIOR MOMENT

Some change in memory is normal as we grow older, but the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease are more than simple lapses in memory.

People with Alzheimer’s experience difficulties communicating, learning, thinking and reasoning that are severe enough to have an impact on work, social activities and family life.

The Alzheimer’s Association has developed a checklist of common symptoms to help distinguish the difference between possible warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease and normal age-related memory changes.

There is no clear-cut line between normal changes and warning signs. It is always a good idea to check with a doctor if a person’s level of function seems to be changing. The Alzheimer’s Association believes that it is critical for people diagnosed with dementia and their families to receive information, care and support as early as possible.

Ten warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease:

1. Memory loss. Forgetting recently learned information is one of the most common early signs of dementia. A person begins to forget more often and is unable to recall the information later.

What’s normal? Forgetting names or appointments occasionally.

2. Difficulty performing familiar tasks. People with dementia often find it hard to plan or complete everyday tasks, such as losing track of the steps involved in preparing a meal, placing a telephone call or playing a game.

What’s normal? Occasionally forgetting why you came into a room or what you planned to say.

3. Problems with language. People with Alzheimer’s disease often forget simple words or substitute unusual words, making their speech or writing hard to understand. For example, instead of toothbrush, asking for “that thing for my mouth.”

What’s normal? Sometimes having trouble finding the right word.

4. Disorientation to time and place. People with Alzheimer’s disease can become lost in their own neighborhood, forget where they are and how they got there, and not know how to get back home.

What’s normal? Forgetting the day of the week or where you were going.

5. Poor or decreased judgment. Those with Alzheimer’s may dress inappropriately, wearing several layers on a warm day or little clothing in the cold. They may show poor judgment, such as giving away large sums of money to telemarketers.

What’s normal? Making a questionable or debatable decision from time to time.

6. Problems with abstract thinking. People with Alzheimer’s may have unusual difficulty performing complex mental tasks, such as forgetting what numbers are for and how they should be used.

What’s normal? Finding it challenging to balance a checkbook.

7. Misplacing things. People with Alzheimer’s disease may put things in unusual places: an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl.

What’s normal? Misplacing items such as keys or a wallet temporarily.

8. Changes in mood. People with Alzheimer’s may show rapid mood swings, from calm to tears to anger, for no apparent reason.

What’s normal? Occasionally feeling sad or moody.

9. Changes in personality. The personalities of people with dementia can change dramatically. They may become extremely confused, suspicious, fearful or dependent on a family member.

What’s normal? People’s personalities do change somewhat with age.

10. Loss of initiative. People with Alzheimer’s disease may become passive, sitting for hours in front of the television, sleeping more than usual or not wanting to do usual activities.

What’s normal? Sometimes feeling weary of work or social obligations. 

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

How To,Love,Relationships,advice

Only In America

 

Up from the Projects: An Autobiography

by Walter E. Williams

Nationally syndicated columnist and prolific author Walter E. Williams recalls some of the highlights and turning points of his life. From his lower middle class beginnings in a mixed but predominantly black neighborhood in West Philadelphia to his department chair at George Mason University, Williams tells an “only in America” story of a life of achievement.

Williams describes the influences of his early years—such as the teachers who demanded his best efforts and made no excuses for him—and tells how his two years in the army became an important part of his maturation process, in spite of the racism he encountered. He recounts his early time getting established in Los Angeles—getting his B.A., going on to grad school at UCLA, and beginning his teaching career. And he tells how his subsequent move to the Urban Institute in Washington opened his eyes to how decisions are really made in D.C.

When he recounts ultimately accepting his professorship appointment at George Mason University, the author marvels that “I never thought I’d be working there thirty years later.” And throughout the book, Willams refers to the immeasurable contribution of his wife of 48 years, who shared his vision through hard work and love. 

 

Simply Wonderful!

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Favorite Finds,Love,Relationships,advice

Exercise Helps!

 

Dear Mrs Figgins,

He’s a bus driver so he sits most of the day. I worry about his health.  He has high blood pressure.  I do everything I can to help him.  He is a stubborn as they come. 

I cook dinner every night and fix his lunch box every morning.  I know he cheats with the candy bars.

To make matters worse he doesn’t do a stitch of exercise and is against medication.  Sometimes I think that if his brain was put in a nat’s butt, it would for sure fly backwards!   I got such a level of  frustration.

My sister thinks that walking helps.  What can I do to get him moving?

Janice, MD

 

Dear Janice,            

I am not a doctor  however,  I do know it is very important that your husband check with his doctor before beginning any exercise program.

Diet and exercise are critical components in managing blood pressure.  

We’d like to express our appreciation to the Mayo Clinic for the following information.

Mrs Figgins

 

Exercise: A drug-free approach to lowering high blood pressure

By Mayo Clinic staff

 

Having high blood pressure and not getting enough exercise are closely related.

Discover how small changes in your daily routine can make a big difference 

Your risk of high blood pressure (hypertension) increases with age, but getting some exercise can make a big difference. And if your blood pressure is already high, exercise can help you control it. Don’t think you’ve got to run a marathon or join a gym. Instead, start slow and work more physical activity into your daily routine.

How exercise can lower your blood pressure

How are high blood pressure and exercise connected? Regular physical activity makes your heart stronger. A stronger heart can pump more blood with less effort. If your heart can work less to pump, the force on your arteries decreases, lowering your blood pressure.

Becoming more active can lower your systolic blood pressure — the top number in a blood pressure reading — by an average of 5 to 10 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg). That’s as good as some blood pressure medications. For some people, getting some exercise is enough to reduce the need for blood pressure medication.

If your blood pressure is at a desirable level — less than 120/80 mm Hg — exercise can keep it from rising as you age. Regular exercise also helps you maintain a healthy weight, another important way to control blood pressure.

But to keep your blood pressure low, you need to keep exercising. It takes about one to three months for regular exercise to have an impact on your blood pressure. The benefits last only as long as you continue to exercise.

How much exercise do you need?

Flexibility and strengthening exercises such as lifting weights are an important part of an overall fitness plan, but it takes aerobic activity to control high blood pressure. And you don’t need to spend hours in the gym every day to benefit. Simply adding moderate physical activities to your daily routine will help.

Any physical activity that increases your heart and breathing rates is considered aerobic exercise, including:

• Household chores, such as mowing the lawn, raking leaves or scrubbing the floor

• Active sports, such as basketball or tennis

• Climbing stairs

• Walking

• Jogging

• Bicycling

• Swimming

Aim for at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity most days of the week. If you can’t set aside that much time at once, remember that shorter bursts of activity count, too. You can break up your workout into three 10-minute sessions of aerobic exercise and get the same benefit as one 30-minute session.

Weight training and high blood pressure

Weight training can cause a temporary increase in blood pressure. This increase can be dramatic – depending on how much weight you lift. But, weightlifting can also have long-term benefits to blood pressure that outweigh the risk of a temporary spike for most people.

If you have high blood pressure and want to include weight training in your fitness program, remember:

• Learn and use proper form when lifting to reduce the risk of injury.

• Don’t hold your breath. Holding your breath during exertion can cause dangerous spikes in blood pressure. Instead, breathe easily and continuously during each lift.

• Lift lighter weights more times. Heavier weights require more strain, which can cause a greater increase in blood pressure. You can challenge your muscles with lighter weights by increasing the number of repetitions you do.

• Listen to your body. Stop your activity right away if you become severely out of breath or dizzy or if you experience chest pain or pressure.

If you’d like to try weight training exercises, make sure you have your doctor’s OK.

When you need your doctor’s OK

Sometimes it’s best to check with your doctor before you jump into an exercise program, especially if:

• You’re a man older than age 40 or a woman older than age 50

• You smoke

• You’re overweight or obese

• You have a chronic health condition, such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol

• You’ve had a heart attack

• You have a family history of heart-related problems before age 55

• You feel pain in your chest or become dizzy with exertion

• You’re unsure if you’re in good health

If you take any medication regularly, ask your doctor if exercising will make it work differently or change its side effects — or if your medication will affect the way your body reacts to exercise.

Keep it safe

To reduce the risk of injury while exercising, start slowly. Remember to warm up before you exercise and cool down afterward. Build up the intensity of your workouts gradually.

Stop exercising and seek immediate medical care if you experience any warning signs during exercise, including:

• Chest pain or tightness

• Dizziness or faintness

• Pain in an arm or your jaw

• Severe shortness of breath

• An irregular heartbeat

• Excessive fatigue

Monitor your progress

The only way to detect high blood pressure is to keep track of your blood pressure readings. Have your blood pressure checked at each doctor’s visit, or use a home blood pressure monitor. If you already have high blood pressure, home monitoring can let you know if your fitness routine is helping to lower your blood pressure, and may make it so you don’t need to visit the doctor to have your blood pressure checked as often.

If you decide to monitor your blood pressure at home, you’ll get the most accurate readings if you check your blood pressure before you exercise, or at least one hour after exercising.

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

How To,Love,Relationships,advice

 

Traditions!

 

Dear Mrs Figgins:

I am 42 years old and never thought I would settle down.  I’ve met a Japanese girl that has turned my whole life around and I want to ask her to share my life with me. 

Her parents are from Japan and very traditional.  I need to get this right and you can probably tell that I am not Japanese.  What is the most proper way to go about this?

Jeremy, WA   

 

Dear Jeremy,

Japan is a country of traditions and showing respect to this rich and wonderful culture is very important. 

I suggest you find the most romantic and charming way of proposing.   

After you have proposed, and if she says “YES”, then one of the most important steps you’ll ever take is meeting with her parents to discuss your intentions and ask for her hand in marriage.   

When you meet with them for this purpose, bring a small gift.  Make sure you ask both parents at the same time.   Perhaps your girlfriend can help you learn a few key and appropriate sentences in Japanese.  This little bit of goodwill is certain to endear the in-laws..   

Family and friends will understand that you may not be familiar with Japanese etiquette, so don’t be afraid to ask for help in navigating thru custom intricacies.

Our appreciation to Shizuko Mishima for the following:

Many weddings take place in spring and fall in Japan. Most weddings are held at hotels or wedding halls where chapels and shrines are conveniently located within the facilities. A Japanese wedding ceremony may be Shinto, Christian, Buddhist, or non-religious styles. Couples choose the style of their wedding ceremonies, and it doesn’t necessarily match with one’s religion. Non-Christian couples often have their weddings at chapels in Japan.

Traditional Japanese wedding ceremonies are Shinto-style and are held at shrines. Brides wear traditional wedding kimono called shiromuku (white kimono robe), and grooms wear montsuki (black formal kimono), haori  (kimono jacket), and hakama (kimono pants).

It’s common that only family members and close relatives of couples attend Shinto-style wedding ceremonies. A ceremony includes sake drinking rituals, exchanging wedding rings, and more. There are neither bridesmaids nor a best man. Traditionally an older married couple called nakoudo (matchmaker) attend a Japanese wedding ceremony, but this tradition isn’t often observed in recent years.

After wedding ceremonies, wedding reception parties called “kekkon hiroen” are held. The style and scale of wedding receptions vary depending on the regions. Typically, relatives, friends, co-workers, and neighbors are invited to wedding receptions. People usually dress formally to attend a Japanese wedding. Female guests wear dresses, suits, or kimono. Male guests wear black formal suits.

When you receive an invitation card to a wedding reception, you need to return the enclosed card and let them know if you can attend or not as soon as possible. If you are attending a Japanese wedding reception, you are expected to bring cash for a gift. The amount depends on your relationship with the couple and the region, unless fixed amount is indicated in the invitation card. It is recommended to ask someone who is attending the same wedding. The average is 30,000 yen for a friend’s wedding. It’s important that the cash is enclosed in a special envelope called shugi-bukuro, and your name is written on the front. It’s polite to use new bills with no creasing. When you go to the party, hand the envelope to the person at the reception desk and sign your name in the guestbook.

During a wedding reception, the married couple sits on a stage, enjoying the guests’ speeches and performances. Many people sing congratulating songs for the couple. It’s typical for the couple to cut a wedding cake and to walk around the reception room, lighting the candles and greeting guests. A full course meal is often served. It’s common for the bride and broom to change costumes a couple of times. Colorful wedding kimono worn by brides are called iro-uchikake.

Wedding souvenirs are called hikidemono in Japanese. They are often tablewares, sweets, interiors, and so on. In recent years, gift catalogs from which guests can choose gifts are popular for hikidemono. The average cost of a typical Japanese wedding is said to be a couple million yen, and the number of guest ranges from 50 to 200 for an average couple.

Best Wishes!

Mrs Figgins         

    

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

 

 

Etiquette,How To,Love,Relationships,advice

Moving Day!!!

 

Dear Mrs Figgins,

My fiancé and I will be married next March. 

We are both in our thirties and have a lot of “stuff”. 

I am in charge of organizing our move and packing both apartments to move into our new home.

This is overwhelming to me and I would appreciate any tips you have on where to begin this undertaking? 

Bride-On-The-Move in Philly

 

Dear Bride-On-The-Move,

First of all congratulations!  This is a joyful time.  It is important that you remove as much stress as possible from your pile, so concentrate on the happy memories you’ll be making.   

That said, it is certainly understandable how one can feel overwhelmed with one let alone to apartments to move!  However, if you follow some simple moving rules, it should become much less stressful.

Since you seem to have some time yet, make it easy on yourself and your fiancé.  

Take a quick assessment of one room at a time, one day at a time.  Do this for each apartment.

With each room, take out what you can give or throw away?

Doing this first will allow you to still have time in your day and evening to do what you should be doing…having fun!

Once you have completed this first round, follow these simple rules.

The less stress you feel, the healthier for everyone.  Remember it is just a move.  And this one is an exciting one!.

Our thanks to Movers-Edge for the great tips listed below.   Some may or may not apply to you, but it is a great list for organizing even the most daunting move!

Again, many congratulations and best wishes!

Mrs Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

  

Organize!!!

 

 

MOVING TIPS: 

GETTING ORGANIZED:

Start early-  Almost everyone has more stuff than they think they do, and almost no one leaves enough time to pack it.

1. Room Lists- Start by forming two room lists, one for your current place and one for your future place.  This will help you manage what has to go where.

2. Room Inventory- Go to each room and write down the types of things that need to be packed: furniture items, length of shelving, closets, etc. 

3. Time Allotment- Make sure to leave enough time.  The most common timeframe reported by people moving is that it takes a month to pack.  One study reported that it takes 4-5 hours to pack an average dorm room, so that should give you an idea of what’s involved.

4. Calendar- Pull out a calendar and plan by day when each room will be completed.

5. Delegation- If you’re moving with family members, agree with them exactly while tasks they will be doing and the date they will be finished.

6. Track your progress- at least once per week track where you are against the date on the calendar.  Revise your plan if you’re falling behind.

FINDING GREAT MOVERS:

1. Only hire the best-  If you choose to hire professional movers, do your research and hire good ones.  Poor quality movers really can be worse than none at all.

2. Referrals-  Get referrals from local real estate agents and friends who have moved recently.

3. Licensing-  Only consider movers that are licensed, bonded and insured.

4. Research-  Investigate your potential movers through the U.S. Department of Transportation, MovingScam-dot-com and the Better Business Bureau.

5. In-home estimates- Evaluate a minimum of 3 movers based on in-home estimates of goods to be moved.

6. Price- Price isn’t the only factor- extremely low bids indicate a desperate mover.

7. “Binding Not-To-Exceed”- Ask for written “Binding Not-To-Exceed” estimates.

8. Avoid “rogue movers”- if you feel uncomfortable, trust your instincts!  Never agree to move your possessions with anyone you don’t trust.

GENERAL PACKING TIPS:

1. Pack a suitcase- For each member of the family moving, pack a suitcase as if you’re all going on a 3-day vacation, including changes of clothes, medications, eyeglasses, toiletries, etc.  Keep the suitcases separated from all the other items to be moved, such as in your car, at your new workplace, etc. so you’ll have everything you need for the first few days without searching through boxes.

2. Create “Open Me First” boxes- Pick one or two boxes per room as “Open Me First” boxes.  Put in them the things you’ll need first at your new location.  Then mark the sides of the boxes so you’ll know which ones are which.

3. One at a time-  Wherever possible, work on packing just one room at a time (instead of several all at once) to keep things focused and organized.

4. Less is more-  Use packing as a way to clean out belongings for donations, a yard sale, and/or the recycling center.  Aim to eliminate 1/3 of your belongings.  You’ll save time and expense.

5. Off the floor- Instead of the floor, use a completely cleared-off table top or counter in each room for packing boxes.  You’ll find you get much more accomplished.

6. Tracking small parts- When taking apart items to be moved, such as tables, securely tape screws and other small parts securely to the underside of the item.  You’ll always know where to look and save time putting things back together.

7. Save space- Use towels, pillows and t-shirts you’re packing as extra padding around fragile items.  It will save room in your boxes.

8. Criss-cross tape- Tape boxes along the seams where the flaps meet together.  Then tape perpendicularly at the center of the first tape, forming a cross.

9. Stacking-  Stack boxes with the heaviest on the bottom, lightest on top to prevent crushing.

10. The 30-pound rule-  Keep each box below 50 pounds absolute maximum and below 30 pounds wherever possible.  Heavier boxes lead to injuries, are much more likely to burst their tape or seams and tend to get dropped.

11. Scale- Keep a bathroom scale in the room you’re packing so you can keep the boxes below the weight limits.

 PACKING ELECTRONICS:

1. A picture is worth 1000 words-  Use a digital or cell phone camera to take pictures of how complicated wiring (computer cords, speaker wires) is hooked up.  Be sure to use plenty of light and careful focus so the pictures will be clear. Print each picture and put it in the top of the box holding the item.  This will make hooking up the items in your new place much easier.

2. Original is best-  Always use the original packaging when available.  (I realize that most of us don’t have the original packaging for much of anything, but I thought I would bring it up anyway).

3. Double boxing-  For especially fragile electronics, pack them first in a box with an excessive amount of biodegradable packing peanuts.  Then pack that box in a larger box filled with biodegradable packing peanuts.  This two-box system seems like a pain but seems to do a better job isolating items from jarring impacts.

4. No loose ends-  Wrap each cord carefully with cable organizers, heavy twist ties or heavy rubber bands.  Never throw unwrapped cords into boxes- they get tangled and caught on other items.

5. Cord labels-  Consider getting a label maker and labeling the end of each.  Then you’ll know exactly which cord you’re seeing and where each end connects when you put things back together.

6. The two-inch rule-  Use at least 2″ of biodegradable packing peanuts around each side of fragile items. 

BOX INVENTORY & LABELING:

1. “Fat” is in-  Use the thickest, darkest marker you can find for labeling boxes. Pencils, pens, tin or light markers are almost impossible to see even just a few feet away.

2. Two sides-  Label each box on the two broadest sides, opposite one another.  That way if a box gets turned, you can still identify its contents.

3.  Abbreviate room names-  Start box labels with the abbreviated name of the room followed by a box number, such as “BTH2-6” for “second bathroom, 6th box.”  You can then track each box to make sure everything arrived safely.

4. Label “Open Me First” on boxes where it applies.

5. Mark “Fragile” where appropriate.

6. Identify contents- Identify the major contents and where they came from, such as “Medicine Cabinet” or “Linen Closet- Towels and Wash Cloths.”

7. Box Inventory-  Keep a clipboard and write down each box’s room, box number and contents (graph paper is great for keeping things recorded neatly). 

8. Verifying delivery- When unloading, check off each box as it gets unloaded at your new place.  Then you’ll know everything arrived safely.

9. Labels out- Ask movers to stack boxes in your new place with the labels facing out so that you can easily spot a specific box.

LETTING PEOPLE KNOW:

1. Post Office- File your change of address with the Post Office at least 30 days prior to the date of the move.

2. Referrals- Ask everyone you notify for a referral in your new area.

3. Records- Get copies of your existing records (transcripts from schools, medical records from doctors, etc.) while you’re notifying the changes of address. 

CHANGE OF ADDRESS /  WHO TO NOTIFY:

1. Accountant/tax preparer; Alumni associations; Attorneys

2. Babysitter/ child care provider; Banks (auto loans, checking accounts, credit cards, home equity, IRA’s, mortgage, safe deposit box, savings account); Broker; Business cards (order new ones if applicable)

3. Cell phone provider; Child care/ daycare; Chiropractor; Courts, especially for traffic tickets or local disputes; Credit bureaus; Credit card issuers

4. Dentist; Department of Motor Vehicles; Diaper service; Doctor; Dry cleaning pick-up and delivery

5. Family members and friends

6. Health clubs; House cleaning service; House of worship

7. Insurance providers (auto, health, life, other vehicles); IRS (form 8822)

8. Lawn care; Luggage tags (replace existing ones)

9. Magazine subscriptions

10. New business cards; New employer; Newspaper subscriptions

11. Old employer; Orthodontist

12. Parent-teacher association; Passport; Pet sitter/ dog walker/ pet day care; Pharmacy (BONUS: get year-to-date expense summary for taxes); Physical therapist; Physician (BONUS: get referral for new location); Post office; Professional organizations

13. Retirement plan holders; Return address labels (order new ones)

14. Schools (BONUS: get copies of transcripts); Snow removal service; Social Security Administration; Swimming pool maintenance (pool cleaning, pool opening or closing); Swimming pool memberships

15. Veterinarian BONUS get vet records and recommendations

16. Water delivery service

 MOVING WITH KIDS:

1. Get a children’s book on moving for smaller kids.  Consider “The Berenstain Bears’ Moving Day.”

2. If appropriate, let children pick their room.

3. If possible, let kids pick a decoration (poster, light switch, name banner, etc.) for their new room. 

4. Pack a kid’s sized suitcase and let each child pick out a special toy to keep with them and a special outfit to wear on “new home day.”

5. If the child has a special dish or cup, include it in the kitchen “Open Me First” box so familiar items await them at their new place.

6. Consider unpacking the kids’ rooms first, or at least their “Open Me First” boxes to help them settle in. 

OPEN ME FIRST BOX:  THE KITCHEN:

1. Aluminum foil or plastic wrap

2. Break-proof or disposable flatware, cups, and plates

3. Coffee maker and coffee (don’t forget the filters!)

4. Dish detergent

5. Frying pan and spatula

6. Pet food and bowels

7. Scissors

8. Tea kettle

OPEN ME FIRST BOX:  MAIN BATHROOM

1. Bath mat

2. Bath towels

3. First-aid kit (aspirin, band-aids, hydrogen peroxide)

4. Shampoo

5. Shower curtain and rings

6. Soap

7. Toilet paper

8. Toothbrushes and toothpaste

OPEN ME FIRST BOX:  TOOL ROOM OR DRAWER

1. Duct tape

2. Flashlight

3. Flat-head screwdriver

4. Hammer

5. Level

6. Phillips-head screwdriver

7. Picture hangers

8. Tape measure

9. Utility knife

MOVING DAY:

1.  Again, start early- You want to have everything as organized as possible prior to the arrival of the movers.

2. Use sitters-  Recruit help in watching your small kids and pets on Moving Day.  Your attention will be needed for the nuts and bolts of the move.

3. Have food ready-  Whether you have professional movers or friends and family, having coffee, orange juice, and bagels or donuts available will make it easier for everyone to get started.

4. Cell phone numbers- Make sure you have the cell phone number of the driver of the truck entered into your cell phone, and that the driver has yours in case you get separated or have a problem.

5. Proper payment- Almost all professional movers will demand payment in full and in cash before they will unpack a single box.  Make sure you have payment ready.

6. Directions- Have directions and a map ready for anyone will be driving between your old place and your new place.

UNPACKING:

1. Unpacking Plan- Just like with packing, have a plan for unpacking.  Otherwise you’re likely to end up frustrated with a sea of half-opened boxes with your necessities still “missing in action.”

2. Prioritize Rooms- Focus on “Open Me First” boxes in the bathrooms and kitchen first. 

3. Trash and Recyclable Boxes- Keep at least one trash bag (for the real trash) and one large emptied box (to hold used packing paper and biodegradable “peanuts”) available in each room BEFORE you start the heavy unpacking.

4. Time Limits- Set an objective of unpacking a certain number of boxes each day until all the boxes are all unpacked.

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

How To,Love,Relationships,advice

Wings

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins,

I am married now 17 years having two childrens and my sexual desires is very high naturally.

My wife doesn’t,  i am trying long to have anal intercourse with her but she doesn’t let me for reason of stitches because of  child birth to my second child of  8 years now.

Also she refuses oral sex in all my marriage..

Please advise me on what I must do.  I am 46 years old and she is 39 years old.  We are from a different culture.   

Awaiting your best advice.

Mr. Muhammad

 

Dear Mr. Muhammad,

Love making should be a pleasurable experience regardless of background or culture.   And you  must honor your wife and her wishes, most especially if it causes her pain.

This said, it is important that she also find ways to give you pleasure which are not painful to her in any way.

Discuss your feelings and desires with your wife in a calm and loving manner.   Let her know how important her feelings are to you, and how important intimacy with her is to you.  

Your situation is not uncommon, and it may be wise to seek marriage counseling. 

Remember…communication is very very important in any relationship.

With love, kindness, romance and communication it can be worked out.

Mrs. Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Love,Relationships,advice

Waiting???

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins,

 I have a Ex boyfriend that I am now his friend because I had broke up
with him, because I felt he was not spending enough time with me. 

He was stright forward with me when he said he was a very busy man, he
is trying to build his own business, so his time is taken, he barly
has time for even himself, let alone me.

He wants me to wait for him, I know he has no other women in his life but me, I honestly and truly believe him, we have decided to be friends and wait for each other and not see anyone else.

I have real strong feelings for him, but with him he care’s enough to want me in his life when he is ready I want him back I want to know what kind of advice you can give me on this matter.

I want to be his shelter in a storm, hissunshine when it rains,so when he does have that little itty bit of time I want to let him know and feel this when we are together and reasure I am here for him always. give me any kind of advice you can give.

thank you so much.

Lina V. 

 

Dear Lina,

Well, sounds like nothing has changed, so what is different in your mind? You are in the same boat now as you were before.

He has been honest with you in saying that he wants to “just be friends and wait”.   And, you have agreed.

Since he isn’t willing or able to make a commitment, you should move on with your life.   Go out with other friends and open yourself to dating. 

Waiting for “marriage” is appropriate and wise.   That said, when he finds the girl that makes “the” difference in his life, he will suddenly make the time and commitment.

When you respect yourself, Lina, life has a way of sorting things out.

Mrs. Figgins

 www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Love,Relationships,advice