Ask Mrs Figgins
- Free Advice & opinion on everyday issues – marriage, children, friendship, love, etiquette, politics & faith – dispensed by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

The art of the picnic.

 

 

Plan a romantic al fresco picnic for two, an intimate group of friends or the entire family. 

Picnics are special, affordable and a fun way to show you care.   They build wonderful memories. 

Create simple snacks, lunch, hors d’oeuvres or light dinners.  

The initial investment for the staples (picnic basket, blanket & accessories) can range from the very affordable to extravagant.  However, once you have the staples, your costs will be mainly for the food and drinks. 

Rule #1:  MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A BREEZE.  

Don’t over pack!  Remember it’s the quality of the time spent together, enhanced by elegant simplicity.  It is not the quantity of things you schlep.   

Location:  If you know of a great picnic spot, stick with it.   A new location can bring unwanted surprises, so if you’re selecting a new location, make sure to take a dry run.  

Your picnic area should be reasonably close to your auto.  Expect that you’ll need to return for one thing or another.

Check List: 

• Picnic blanket

• Picnic basket with accessories.   There are many lovely disposable accessories, including plates, cutlery, water glasses, wine glasses, napkins (make sure to pack plenty).   Try them, you’ll like them!    You don’t want to schlep unnecessary items back to wash at home.  You’ll want to relax after a lovely picnic.

• Small cooler (optional).

• CD (not too loud if there are others close by!)

• Food

• Drink 

• Candles for evening rendezvous!

Back up:  Check the weather conditions ahead of time.   In areas where the weather is unpredictable, have a back up location.   Indoor spots can be every bit as wonderful.

Picnics are supposed to be fun.  Once you master the romantic art of the picnic, you’ll be hooked!

Leave your worries behind and make beautiful memories. 

 

Check out Mrs. Figgins picnic food & drink ideas!

How To,Love,More Finds,Relationships,Retirement,advice

Not Ready For Pasture!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

 My wife and I live in Arkansas.   At 63 we had the money saved up and thought it was the perfect time for both us to retire.  The wife is pretty happy with it all, but I’m not happy like I thought I would be.   

I miss my work, Ms. Figgins.  I miss my friends, I miss gettin in my truck and doing my daily routine. 

I guess I’m not ready to do this retiring thing.  Do I need some type of professional help?

 I’m not ready for pasture.

 

 Dear Not Ready:

The night is still young.    So are you.

Isn’t it a head scratcher how we dream of having time on our hands.  Yet when we have it, it’s double edged.   Your sense of “empty “is normal and understandable.  

What a blessing that you and your wife have planned financially for your retirement! 

 Take heart and trust that the best is truly ahead. 

 Now it’s time to come up with something that you might really like to do on a part time or full time basis.   Since you’ve planned for this day, your list should include paid or unpaid activities.     Don’t come up with silly “fillers” (leave that to stuffing sofas).  

 Think of what will fill the wells of your heart.  There’s no time like the present.

 Starting right now, starting this very moment – make of a few things you have always wanted to do.    If you try one and it doesn’t feel right, then try the next.  You have time and you have the dime.

 There are many organizations need good descent folks like you.   

 You are more valuable today than ever before.    BELIEVE!

 Mrs. Figgins

Love,Retirement,advice

Don’t be stupid!  THINK!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

Can a person fall in love at first sight?

 I just met a great guy this past week and it was like instant between us.    He is 32, and I am 20.

He said he knew the minute I walked in that he was going to marry me.   The only problem is he lives in another state. 

Yesterday before he left he asked me to move with him next month.  I know it may be too soon for some people but I’m considering it!

My parents have been away on vacation so I haven’t had a chance to tell them yet.   

How do I tell them that we fell in love at first sight?  I want their support.

Am I stupid?

 

Dear Stupid:

YES.

Stupid is as stupid does – and you’re in for a world of trouble if you don’t get your wits about you.

You may be instant “in like” but love is nowhere in sight at this point.  

Love takes time, and one week doesn’t give you enough time to figure out what kind of socks to buy him at Christmas.

You don’t know this guy.    You’ve never met his family or know his friends.   You don’t know the first thing about his past other than what he may have told you over a starry eyed milk shake. 

Any guy that would ask you to move in and hasn’t even met your parents is not the one. 

Only time will tell you if “like” will turn into love, and stupid can turn into smart.   It’s time to think about choices and consequences.

Mrs. Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com  

Free advice on everyday topics dispensed by Mrs Figgins with straightforward common sense and good old fashioned values! 

 

Love,Relationships,advice

Don’t bank on this ROI

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My boyfriend, whom I’ve been dating for 11 months.

We’re both 32 years old.  I have had a steady job since I was first out of college and have saved a good amount of money for my retirement. 

We’ve talked about marriage someday but nothing has been set yet.

He’s asked me to invest in his new venture.  I really don’t want to but if we’re going to have a future together I think it will show trust.

Looking for an emotional return on investment.

 

Dear Emotional:

Emotions and investments make for a down market in more ways than one.   

Your future hopes are at big risk on this one – and so is your money. 

He can’t commit on marriage and you want to commit your retirement dollars on him? 

Don’t bank on this ROI.

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,Retirement,advice

Make sure you’re not clipped too short!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

For the past 8 months I’ve been dating René.  I met him at my sister’s house, who lives out of state.  He’s kind, thoughtful, romantic, and I’ve grown very fond of him.  

He is a hairdresser at a small beauty salon.   I’m an attorney and make a handsome living, although he doesn’t know about my finances yet.   Actually, I’ve always traveled to see him.  He’s never been to my house.  

René says he loves me and wants to plan a life together. 

Is it necessary to spill the beans about my finances at this point?  

Madeline

 

Dear Madeline:   

René hasn’t even been to your house yet – therefore it’s wise to keep the beans close to the vest.   

Once you know more about each other then, tell him about your situation.  

A pre-nup may be a smart idea, so you don’t get clipped too short!  

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice

 

We could all use a buoy once in a while!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My Father passed away 4 years ago.  My sister, brother and I are still mourning his loss.  I thought my Mother was too, since he was the love of her life!

Mom has just begun seeing someone,  and wants to bring him to our family reunion.    This is something we are having a HUGE problem with!   This man could never fill my Father’s shoes, and he best not try.

How can we STOP this from happening?

 

Dear STOP:

STOP!    Your Mother has the right to “live”, and perhaps love again.  

Her love for your Father or you kids is not minimized in any way by her getting  a new chance at life.   Support her.  

Be her buoy as she has always been yours.  She may be going thru a storm of emotions at this time in her life trying to juggle her own feelings and dealing with yours.   She needs you now.   Be there.   Be present.  This is what is important.

Mrs. Figgins

Love,advice

Follow these instructions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

 We have lovely neighbors.  They are married, have no children, and mind their own business.   I just found out that the husband has been having an affair with another man.  Evidently it’s been going on for quite some time.

What should I do?

Neighbor

 

Dear Neighbor:

Nothing.

Mrs. Figgins 

Love,advice

 

Clean this mess up NOW!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:  

I’m  19 and dating a 23 year old.  There is a huge part of me deep down that knows he’s not the one, and I admit (at least to you) that I don’t trust him much.  He’s treated me pretty badly.  He’s never been physically abusive, but he has been extremely emotionally and verbally harsh.  It gets worse when he drinks.

He’s being deployed next month..  My gut is that I should just tell him now that I don’t want to continue our relationship.  But my other feeling is that maybe it would be the honorable thing to wait and not tell him now, especially when he may be going off to war.  He’s using his deployment as a reason for us to be sexually intimate.  My faith doesn’t allow this.  

If I tell my Mother (forget telling my Dad), her answer would be for me just to tell him it’s off NOW.

Mrs. Figgins, I just don’t know what to do.  I’m not the confrontational type, so maybe that’s why I’m in this state.

He’s off war and I’m in a mess! 

 

Dear In A Mess:

Let me start by saying that both your Mom and Dad would be very proud that you held on to your faith and made the right decision regarding pre-marital sex.  The other choice may have been life altering.

Your Mother is wise:  Tell him it’s off NOW. 

I hope this ordeal has made an indelible mark on the choices and decisions that you make along your path.   

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice

Sometimes we just need to get our head out of the sand!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I am 23 years old and have developed a crush on one of my friends.   He tells me he’s had strong feelings for me for a long time and can’t get me out of his mind.   He wants to date.

There is just one little problem:  my best friend since childhood has feelings for him, too.    He tells me he doesn’t feel the same about her.   I know he’s led her on, making her think there might be a possibility of a relationship between them some time down the road.  

All along he’s been seeing other girls and not fessing up.   He says he hasn’t told her that there’s no chance between them romantically because he loves her as a “friend” and doesn’t want to hurt her feelings.   They’ve been friends for a long time, too.  I’m not sure how to handle this?

I’m stuck in the middle!

 

Dear Stuck:

UNSTICK and QUICK!!!

Good friends last a lifetime -“crushes” don’t.  

He’s led her on.   What  makes you think you are going to be any different?

This is not worth losing a lifetime friend over – and this guy doesn’t sound like a good bet at any table.   

Life has a wonderful way of sorting things when we get out of the way.

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice

Here come the in-laws!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:  

My fiancé and I are in a quandary.   His mother and father actually told him that the bride’s parents should pay for hotel accommodations on the groom’s side of the family.  That will be 9 separate rooms for 3 days. 

His mother said it’s enough that their family is paying for airline tickets. 

My parents are not only paying for the entire wedding, they’re also paying for the rehearsal dinner.   I don’t think it’s fair, nor do I have the heart, to ask my parents to also pay for hotel rooms for his family.  

I don’t know how to handle this. 

Bride in the middle!  

 

 Dear Bride:

Your heart and your sense of fairness are in the right place.  So is your etiquette.  

It is the responsibility of the groom’s parents or family members to pay for their own travel expenses and accommodations.    

You might offer to help out by checking out hotels in the area, but you should not be expected to pick up the tab.   Discuss this with your fiancé.  It is his position to let his parents know that family members need to pay for their hotel and expenses.    

Proper etiquette dictates the rehearsal dinner be hosted by the groom’s parents.  However, if your parents have graciously offered to host it, no good will come of creating a stir with the in-laws now.    

It’s important to respect and honor your in-laws  – and wise to pick your battles judiciously.

Mrs. Figgins

Etiquette,Love,advice