Etiquette is back.

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My boyfriend and I live in the United States but we’re thinking about getting married in Europe where most of our family is.  While not strict orthodox, our families still prefer that honor our religious heritage.

Are there any trends coming about there?  Are birdcage veils still popular?   Will you please review some points we should consider?   We’re worried about the expense, too.

Thank You for your input.

Madeline & Robert, Nova Scotia

Dear Madeline & Robert:

Indeed many couples want their wedding to reflect traditional values and are incorporating their religious, cultural and ethnic heritage.

Many couples are also opting to see each other before the ceremony.  However, I personally like the more traditional way and believe it holds the “romance”.

With the global economy being so uncertain, families are also watching their finances more than ever.  Many couples are participating in the cost of their own wedding and therefore controlling  most of the decision-making.   Advice: Spend more on the lasting memories than the frill.

A return to old-fashioned “proper” etiquette is  now becoming much more important.  Make certain that your thank you cards are promptly delivered – no later than 4 weeks of the wedding.

Personalized appreciation is back.  Favours are an expense and easy to consider eliminating, However, most couples are especially grateful to guests who have incurred considerable expense to be a part of the celebration and a personalized favour shows the thought behind the gift. A small chocolate gift box or small champagne favor adds a marvelous touch of elegance.  

I happened to attend a wedding recently and the bride wore a stunning birdcage veil. They are popular and allow dramatic vintage glamour. 

Many Congratulations!

Mrs. Figgins

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Introductions

Aloha Mrs Figgins:

This Friday I am attending a grand opening of a new high tech building with my partner of 11 years.

Because I designed the software which runs the building I will be recognized at the function, and I will certainly be talking with people after the function.

How should I properly introduce my boyfriend? We are both in our 50’s so “boyfriend” seems a bit young (plus we’ve been together 11 years).   ”partner” would be misconstrued as being my business partner.  “lover” is not appropriate in this setting.

I asked him, but he’s as stumped as I am.

What is the proper business etiquette in this situation?

David

Dear David:

Many congratulations on your accomplishment.

It is appropriate in a business setting to introduce your lover as your “partner”.    

Subtlety is elegance, David.

Wishing you both a wonderful time today.

Mrs. Figgins 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Invitations?

Dear Mrs Figgins:

What’s wrong with this picture?  My husbands co-worker, whom he also plays basketball with on Thursday nights, invited “him” to his wedding in Canada.  We live in Montana for crying out loud! 

 My husband says he doesn’t want to go.  Yet I’m thinking if this is about a gift or something else?

I think it at the least it’s darn rude! 

Not Sure in Billings

Dear Not Sure:

One thing is certain, proper etiquette was not observed.

Your husband told you about the invitation, and he also said he doesn’t want to go.  Absent any reason to think otherwise, you need to accept what he says as truth. 

Send a gracious note with regrets from “ Mr. & Mrs ____”. 

Because they work together – and if it makes you and your husband feel better – upon the bride and groom’s return, give them a little gift.  The enclosure card should be signed “Mr. & Mrs ____”.   That said, a gift is not necessary.

Mrs. Figgins

www.askmrsfiggins.com          

Advice & opinion on everyday topics with common sense and old fashioned values by Mrs. Figgins

Basics.  IMPORTANT.

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My twin sister and I are 15 years old. 

Will you please tell us what the proper way is way to introduce people?

Jenny and Emma

Dear Jenny and Emma:

Your question is a great one.

Traditionally, in both formal and informal social settings the person who is named first is being shown a degree of respect or deference based on seniority or prominence.  The introduction is made to them.

• Women have precedence over men

• Older have precedence over younger.   Therefore, a younger person is “introduced to” an older person. 

• In business, clients and customers have precedence over associates.  This is true regardless of rank.  Therefore, a person of high rank or special prominence is named first and receives the introduction. The lesser rank is introduced to them.

Mrs. Figgins

Post wedding reception

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My husband and I were married a few months ago when while he was stationed overseas.  

I come from a large Italian family.  My parents would really like to host a wedding reception for us now that we’re back home.   

Should we send out invitations after the fact?  If so, what is the correct way to word the invitations? 

My parent’s names are Maria Isabel and Antony Giordano.

Tere & Giuseppe Morelli  

Dear Terry & Giuseppe:

Even though you were married out of the country, and your parents are hosting a belated wedding reception, is still appropriate to send out invitations.

Below are two examples of how the invitations may be worded.

Example #1)

Mr. and Mrs. Antony Giordano

request the pleasure of your company

at a reception

in honor of

Mr. and Mrs. Giusepppe Morelli

The reception will be held at:  
Address
Date
Time

Example #2) 

Mr. and Mrs. Antony Giordano

request the pleasure of your company

at a reception following

the recent marriage of their daughter

Tere Giordano with Giuseppe Morelli

The reception will be held at:  
Address
Date
Time
Time

Much happiness!

Mrs. Figgins