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JOY.

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My husband and I are adopting.  We feel so blessed to have this heavenly little angel arriving soon. 

Our parents are not from this country and are old school.  They believe once we adopt, we’re the parents and the subject of adoption should never come up.  Period.

We want to do the right thing from day one  Mrs. Figgins, including knowing and understanding if our baby could face any potential challenges.  

We’re so excited and at the same time we’re wringing out hands because we want to get this right.

Please shed some light on this subject.  Plus, any other tips you can give us?

Tim & Julie M.

 

Dear Tim and Julie:

First of all, congratulations!  

Every parent wants to get it right and can share your feelings, so don’t feel like you’re alone.

Like most adoptive parents, you understandably have questions about how to deal with the circumstances of adoption, and want to know if your child faces special problems or challenges. 

To your first questions:  Many child and adolescent psychiatrists  recommend that the child be told about the adoption by the adoptive parents.  And it is important that children be told about their adoption in a way that they can understand.

These are days full of joy, anticipation and understandably some anxiety.  With so much love and care, you’ll all get thru this just fine.

Our appreciation to www.adoptionhelp.org for the list below of “Things to do While Waiting” for the adoptive parents.

http://www.adoptionhelp.org/adoption_resources/while_waiting.html 

Some Things to Do While Waiting For Baby:

• Seek support from other people adopting either through local support groups or the IAC forums  and adoption support groups.

• Take a class in newborn care.

• Take an infant/child CPR & First Aid class.

• Read about open adoption, parenting and general infant/child care.

• Talk to your employer and start planning for time away from the office if necessary.

• Research and select baby furniture (it can take months to order).

• Research car seats and strollers, with an eye towards a purchase.

• If you have purchased a car seat already, learn how to install it, then get it checked by a car seat specialist (call your local police department for assistance).

• Research and select a pediatrician.

• Select names for each gender (this is a common question from potential birthfamilies).

• Discuss and research discipline styles/techniques.

• Research and select a childcare provider (if you are going to work).

• Research new parenting techniques i.e., baby massage, using sign language, etc.

• Make some reheatable quick meals and store in the freezer.

• Research baby announcements, do-it-yourself or order?

• Start a life book of your adoption journey for your child.

• Discuss and make decisions about new wills, life insurance and a guardian for your child.

• Research and request forms to add your new baby to your health insurance plan.

• Research any parental/family leave policies with your employer.

• Research and decide about adoptive breastfeeding.

• Research and decide about cord blood banking.

• Research and purchase new baby/brother/sister books for the older sibling(s), if applicable.

• Discuss what type of new baby/welcome home celebration you want to have.

• Research and learn how to prevent SIDS.

• Prepare a first aid kit specifically for children (consult your pediatrician or the Red Cross).

• Tidy up your closets and storage space.

• Prepare the nursery.

• Talk to your friends and family about open adoption.

• Start a journal or blog about your adoption journey. A journal can record the milestones and detours, as well as your first rush of love for your child.

• Take advantage of special opportunities with your current family.

Best wishes and many many blessings,

Mrs. Figgins

Children Issues, How To, Love, advice