Ask Mrs Figgins
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Give him this one!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins: 

My boyfriend and I are both in our 30’s, both professionals and have been living together.   He’s always been a reasonable guy. 

Recently he came home with a  soda pop girl costume and wanted me to wear it while we’re having sex.  Last week he showed up with  an army pinup costume, including a medic hat and boot cuffs.  I was so uncomfortable but didn’t dare spoil his “fun”.

Honestly, what on earth could all this be about?   Should I be worried?   I don’t want to marry a guy who’s so kinky that I have to be on stage every time we make love.

Should we seek counseling or maybe talk with our Rabbi?

Soubrette in Nebraska

 

Dear Soubrette:

The Rabbi is probably not a good idea. 

I agree it is rather kinky, but no more so than many of the stories I’ve heard in my travels. 

Why don’t you try coming up with some costumes of your own for him?  How about a Gladiator costume with chest armor or full Batman get up?  Maybe he’ll get the hint before too many more curtain calls.

If this doesn’t work you might want to rethink this duo before the bells ring.

Good Luck!

Mrs. Figgins 

Love,Relationships,advice

Happy New Year!

 

Dear Friends,

A sincere Thank You to all for your readership.

From our family to yours we send best wishes for a year filled with blessings!

Mrs Figgins & Family

 

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Signs

 

Dear Mrs Figgins, 

My Aunt June has always been very independent, been married twice, and has had no children.  She’s also quite well off. 

Recently she’s been acting odd and quite removed.  On several occasions has completely “forgotten” that we were picking her up for important family functions, including my Mom’s birthday party. 

I don’t believe Aunt June has ever had a drinking problem although she’s always enjoyed her toddies.

 One of the neighbors says she was out in the cold rain in “shorts” walking around the garden the other day.  And mentioned that there’s been a younger gentleman friend visiting her at all hours.    All this is June’s business of course but she’s 84 years old! 

What if this guy is taking advantage of her?   Do you think it’s possible she has Alzheimer’s? 

What can we do to help her if she’s in need? 

Scared Sarah 

 

Dear Sarah, 

You are correct to be worried, on all counts.

Contact the nearest Department of Social Services and express your concerns.   They will be able to guide you on what steps you should take to get for Aunt June.

Our sincere Thanks to the University of Southern California for the following information regarding the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease.

Mrs Figgins

 

usc.edu/memory

 

 

NOT A SENIOR MOMENT

Some change in memory is normal as we grow older, but the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease are more than simple lapses in memory.

People with Alzheimer’s experience difficulties communicating, learning, thinking and reasoning that are severe enough to have an impact on work, social activities and family life.

The Alzheimer’s Association has developed a checklist of common symptoms to help distinguish the difference between possible warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease and normal age-related memory changes.

There is no clear-cut line between normal changes and warning signs. It is always a good idea to check with a doctor if a person’s level of function seems to be changing. The Alzheimer’s Association believes that it is critical for people diagnosed with dementia and their families to receive information, care and support as early as possible.

Ten warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease:

1. Memory loss. Forgetting recently learned information is one of the most common early signs of dementia. A person begins to forget more often and is unable to recall the information later.

What’s normal? Forgetting names or appointments occasionally.

2. Difficulty performing familiar tasks. People with dementia often find it hard to plan or complete everyday tasks, such as losing track of the steps involved in preparing a meal, placing a telephone call or playing a game.

What’s normal? Occasionally forgetting why you came into a room or what you planned to say.

3. Problems with language. People with Alzheimer’s disease often forget simple words or substitute unusual words, making their speech or writing hard to understand. For example, instead of toothbrush, asking for “that thing for my mouth.”

What’s normal? Sometimes having trouble finding the right word.

4. Disorientation to time and place. People with Alzheimer’s disease can become lost in their own neighborhood, forget where they are and how they got there, and not know how to get back home.

What’s normal? Forgetting the day of the week or where you were going.

5. Poor or decreased judgment. Those with Alzheimer’s may dress inappropriately, wearing several layers on a warm day or little clothing in the cold. They may show poor judgment, such as giving away large sums of money to telemarketers.

What’s normal? Making a questionable or debatable decision from time to time.

6. Problems with abstract thinking. People with Alzheimer’s may have unusual difficulty performing complex mental tasks, such as forgetting what numbers are for and how they should be used.

What’s normal? Finding it challenging to balance a checkbook.

7. Misplacing things. People with Alzheimer’s disease may put things in unusual places: an iron in the freezer or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl.

What’s normal? Misplacing items such as keys or a wallet temporarily.

8. Changes in mood. People with Alzheimer’s may show rapid mood swings, from calm to tears to anger, for no apparent reason.

What’s normal? Occasionally feeling sad or moody.

9. Changes in personality. The personalities of people with dementia can change dramatically. They may become extremely confused, suspicious, fearful or dependent on a family member.

What’s normal? People’s personalities do change somewhat with age.

10. Loss of initiative. People with Alzheimer’s disease may become passive, sitting for hours in front of the television, sleeping more than usual or not wanting to do usual activities.

What’s normal? Sometimes feeling weary of work or social obligations. 

 

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Dear Friends,

Below is an interesting article which I’d like to share with you.   It was published in 2003.

The tenets of lower tax rate hold ever strong.

 Many Thanks to the Heritage Foundation for allowing us to share the text below.  

Mrs Figgins

 

 

Leadership

The Historical Lessons of Lower Tax Rates

Published on August 13, 2003 by Daniel Mitchell, Ph.D.

There is a distinct pattern throughout American history: When tax rates are reduced, the economy’s growth rate improves and living standards increase. Good tax policy has a number of interesting side effects. For instance, history tells us that tax revenues grow and “rich” taxpayers pay more tax when marginal tax rates are slashed. This means lower income citizens bear a lower share of the tax burden – a consequence that should lead class-warfare politicians to support lower tax rates.

Conversely, periods of higher tax rates are associated with sub par economic performance and stagnant tax revenues. In other words, when politicians attempt to “soak the rich,” the rest of us take a bath. Examining the three major United States episodes of tax rate reductions can prove useful lessons.

1) Lower tax rates do not mean less tax revenue.

The tax cuts of the 1920s
Tax rates were slashed dramatically during the 1920s, dropping from over 70 percent to less than 25 percent. What happened? Personal income tax revenues increased substantially during the 1920s, despite the reduction in rates. Revenues rose from $719 million in 1921 to $1164 million in 1928, an increase of more than 61 percent.

According to then-Treasury Secretary Andrew Mellon:

The history of taxation shows that taxes which are inherently excessive are not paid. The high rates inevitably put pressure upon the taxpayer to withdraw his capital from productive business and invest it in tax-exempt securities or to find other lawful methods of avoiding the realization of taxable income. The result is that the sources of taxation are drying up; wealth is failing to carry its share of the tax burden; and capital is being diverted into channels which yield neither revenue to the Government nor profit to the people.

The Kennedy tax cuts
President Hoover dramatically increased tax rates in the 1930s and President Roosevelt compounded the damage by pushing marginal tax rates to more than 90 percent. Recognizing that high tax rates were hindering the economy, President Kennedy proposed across-the-board tax rate reductions that reduced the top tax rate from more than 90 percent down to 70 percent. What happened? Tax revenues climbed from $94 billion in 1961 to $153 billion in 1968, an increase of 62 percent (33 percent after adjusting for inflation).

According to President John F. Kennedy:

Our true choice is not between tax reduction, on the one hand, and the avoidance of large Federal deficits on the other. It is increasingly clear that no matter what party is in power, so long as our national security needs keep rising, an economy hampered by restrictive tax rates will never produce enough revenues to balance our budget just as it will never produce enough jobs or enough profits… In short, it is a paradoxical truth that tax rates are too high today and tax revenues are too low and the soundest way to raise the revenues in the long run is to cut the rates now.

The Reagan tax cuts
Thanks to “bracket creep,” the inflation of the 1970s pushed millions of taxpayers into higher tax brackets even though their inflation-adjusted incomes were not rising. To help offset this tax increase and also to improve incentives to work, save, and invest, President Reagan proposed sweeping tax rate reductions during the 1980s. What happened? Total tax revenues climbed by 99.4 percent during the 1980s, and the results are even more impressive when looking at what happened to personal income tax revenues. Once the economy received an unambiguous tax cut in January 1983, income tax revenues climbed dramatically, increasing by more than 54 percent by 1989 (28 percent after adjusting for inflation).

According to then-U.S. Representative Jack Kemp (R-NY), one of the chief architects of the Reagan tax cuts:

At some point, additional taxes so discourage the activity being taxed, such as working or investing, that they yield less revenue rather than more. There are, after all, two rates that yield the same amount of revenue: high tax rates on low production, or low rates on high production.

2) The rich pay more when incentives to hide income are reduced.

The tax cuts of the 1920s
The share of the tax burden paid by the rich rose dramatically as tax rates were reduced. The share of the tax burden borne by the rich (those making $50,000 and up in those days) climbed from 44.2 percent in 1921 to 78.4 percent in 1928.

The Kennedy tax cuts
Just as happened in the 1920s, the share of the income tax burden borne by the rich increased following the tax cuts. Tax collections from those making over $50,000 per year climbed by 57 percent between 1963 and 1966, while tax collections from those earning below $50,000 rose 11 percent. As a result, the rich saw their portion of the income tax burden climb from 11.6 percent to 15.1 percent.

The Reagan tax cuts
The share of income taxes paid by the top 10 percent of earners jumped significantly, climbing from 48.0 percent in 1981 to 57.2 percent in 1988. The top 1 percent saw their share of the income tax bill climb even more dramatically, from 17.6 percent in 1981 to 27.5 percent in 1988.

Harmful Spending & Complexity
Lower tax rates are important, but they are not the only critical issue. Both the level of government spending and where that money goes are very important. And even when looking only at tax policy, tax rates are just one piece of the puzzle. If certain types of income are subject to multiple layers of tax, as occurs in the current system, that problem cannot be solved by low rates. Similarly, a tax system with needless levels of complexity will impose heavy costs on the productive sector of the economy.

This WebMemo is excerpted from the author’s, Daniel J. Mitchell’s, Backgrounder, The Historical Lessons of Lower Tax Rates, published JulWebMemo #327y 19, 1996. 

 

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This is a great find and makes a wonderful gift for the holidays!

Each morning I use this milk frother to make my Cafe Latte and it is excellent!  

I love it!  You will too!

Mrs. Figgins

 

A Great Milk Frother!

 

Bodum Chambord Milk Frother

Rich, foamy frothed milk is the key to making perfect lattes, cappuccinos and macchiatos at home. This Chambord-style milk frother makes it easy: simply fill the beaker with milk, grip the comfortable handle and gently plunge up and down to make airy foam.

• Makes up to 16 fl. oz. of airy foam in less than 30 seconds.

• Borosilicate glass beaker can hold hot or cold milk.

• Simple to use and easy to clean.

• Chrome-plated steel lid.

Use:

• Not intended for use on stovetop.

• For best results, start with cold milk. For hot milk, remove lid and plunger from carafe, fill with milk and heat in the microwave on high for 30- 60 seconds.

• Do not use metal utensils in glass.

Care:

• All parts are dishwasher-safe.

 

Simply Wonderful!

 

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Only In America

 

Up from the Projects: An Autobiography

by Walter E. Williams

Nationally syndicated columnist and prolific author Walter E. Williams recalls some of the highlights and turning points of his life. From his lower middle class beginnings in a mixed but predominantly black neighborhood in West Philadelphia to his department chair at George Mason University, Williams tells an “only in America” story of a life of achievement.

Williams describes the influences of his early years—such as the teachers who demanded his best efforts and made no excuses for him—and tells how his two years in the army became an important part of his maturation process, in spite of the racism he encountered. He recounts his early time getting established in Los Angeles—getting his B.A., going on to grad school at UCLA, and beginning his teaching career. And he tells how his subsequent move to the Urban Institute in Washington opened his eyes to how decisions are really made in D.C.

When he recounts ultimately accepting his professorship appointment at George Mason University, the author marvels that “I never thought I’d be working there thirty years later.” And throughout the book, Willams refers to the immeasurable contribution of his wife of 48 years, who shared his vision through hard work and love. 

 

Simply Wonderful!

 

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A True Winner!

 

Editorial Review:

Winners Never Cheat 

 by Jon M. Huntsman

In his book Winners Never Cheat, Mr. Huntsman shares the principled he has followed throughout his lifetime, and how business can return to the days when your word was your bond, a handshake was sacred, and swarms of lawyers weren’t needed to back it up.

About the Author:

Jon M. Huntsman is the chairman and founder of Huntsman Corp., the world’s largest privately held chemical company. 

He built a world-class business from nothing and went to Forbes’ list of America’s wealthiest people.

FROM THE BACK COVER:

 Author royalties from this book go to the Huntsman Cancer Foundation

 “The way Jon conducts his business and lives his life will not only inspire you to be a better person, citizen, and entrepreneur, it also will give you hope that the good guys don’t finish last.”    Glenn Beck 

“Jon Huntsman is a different breed. He believes business is a creative endeavor, similar to a theater production, wherein integrity must be the central character.”  Larry King, CNN 

“Jon Huntsman’s own life and personal values lend credence to his words. He walks his ethical talk.”  Neil Cavuto, Fox News  

“This book could put me out of business. Nobody would be happier about it than me.”  Wayne Reaud, Trial Attorney

The nationwide bestseller–fully updated for today’s tough times and worldwide financial crises “Everyone does it.” Everyone cheats. Cuts corners. Tells lies. Maybe it was different once. Not today. If you want to succeed in this economic climate, you simply have to make compromises.  Right?  Wrong. You can succeed at the highest levels, without sacrificing the principles that make life worth living. The proof? You’re holding it.  

Jon M. Huntsman built a $12 billion company from scratch, the old-fashioned way: with integrity. There were short-term costs and difficult decisions. There were tough times. Times just like today. But ultimately, leading with integrity wasn’t just personally right for Huntsman, it also proved to be the best business strategy. 

In Winners Never Cheat, Huntsman tells you how he did it, and how you can, too. This book is about remembering why you work, and why you were chosen to lead. It’s about finding the bravery to act on what you know is right, no matter what you’re up against. 

It’s about winning. The right way. 

Think about the kind of person you want to do business with. Then, be that person–and use this book to get you there.”

Simply Wonderful!

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Exercise Helps!

 

Dear Mrs Figgins,

He’s a bus driver so he sits most of the day. I worry about his health.  He has high blood pressure.  I do everything I can to help him.  He is a stubborn as they come. 

I cook dinner every night and fix his lunch box every morning.  I know he cheats with the candy bars.

To make matters worse he doesn’t do a stitch of exercise and is against medication.  Sometimes I think that if his brain was put in a nat’s butt, it would for sure fly backwards!   I got such a level of  frustration.

My sister thinks that walking helps.  What can I do to get him moving?

Janice, MD

 

Dear Janice,            

I am not a doctor  however,  I do know it is very important that your husband check with his doctor before beginning any exercise program.

Diet and exercise are critical components in managing blood pressure.  

We’d like to express our appreciation to the Mayo Clinic for the following information.

Mrs Figgins

 

Exercise: A drug-free approach to lowering high blood pressure

By Mayo Clinic staff

 

Having high blood pressure and not getting enough exercise are closely related.

Discover how small changes in your daily routine can make a big difference 

Your risk of high blood pressure (hypertension) increases with age, but getting some exercise can make a big difference. And if your blood pressure is already high, exercise can help you control it. Don’t think you’ve got to run a marathon or join a gym. Instead, start slow and work more physical activity into your daily routine.

How exercise can lower your blood pressure

How are high blood pressure and exercise connected? Regular physical activity makes your heart stronger. A stronger heart can pump more blood with less effort. If your heart can work less to pump, the force on your arteries decreases, lowering your blood pressure.

Becoming more active can lower your systolic blood pressure — the top number in a blood pressure reading — by an average of 5 to 10 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg). That’s as good as some blood pressure medications. For some people, getting some exercise is enough to reduce the need for blood pressure medication.

If your blood pressure is at a desirable level — less than 120/80 mm Hg — exercise can keep it from rising as you age. Regular exercise also helps you maintain a healthy weight, another important way to control blood pressure.

But to keep your blood pressure low, you need to keep exercising. It takes about one to three months for regular exercise to have an impact on your blood pressure. The benefits last only as long as you continue to exercise.

How much exercise do you need?

Flexibility and strengthening exercises such as lifting weights are an important part of an overall fitness plan, but it takes aerobic activity to control high blood pressure. And you don’t need to spend hours in the gym every day to benefit. Simply adding moderate physical activities to your daily routine will help.

Any physical activity that increases your heart and breathing rates is considered aerobic exercise, including:

• Household chores, such as mowing the lawn, raking leaves or scrubbing the floor

• Active sports, such as basketball or tennis

• Climbing stairs

• Walking

• Jogging

• Bicycling

• Swimming

Aim for at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity most days of the week. If you can’t set aside that much time at once, remember that shorter bursts of activity count, too. You can break up your workout into three 10-minute sessions of aerobic exercise and get the same benefit as one 30-minute session.

Weight training and high blood pressure

Weight training can cause a temporary increase in blood pressure. This increase can be dramatic – depending on how much weight you lift. But, weightlifting can also have long-term benefits to blood pressure that outweigh the risk of a temporary spike for most people.

If you have high blood pressure and want to include weight training in your fitness program, remember:

• Learn and use proper form when lifting to reduce the risk of injury.

• Don’t hold your breath. Holding your breath during exertion can cause dangerous spikes in blood pressure. Instead, breathe easily and continuously during each lift.

• Lift lighter weights more times. Heavier weights require more strain, which can cause a greater increase in blood pressure. You can challenge your muscles with lighter weights by increasing the number of repetitions you do.

• Listen to your body. Stop your activity right away if you become severely out of breath or dizzy or if you experience chest pain or pressure.

If you’d like to try weight training exercises, make sure you have your doctor’s OK.

When you need your doctor’s OK

Sometimes it’s best to check with your doctor before you jump into an exercise program, especially if:

• You’re a man older than age 40 or a woman older than age 50

• You smoke

• You’re overweight or obese

• You have a chronic health condition, such as high blood pressure or high cholesterol

• You’ve had a heart attack

• You have a family history of heart-related problems before age 55

• You feel pain in your chest or become dizzy with exertion

• You’re unsure if you’re in good health

If you take any medication regularly, ask your doctor if exercising will make it work differently or change its side effects — or if your medication will affect the way your body reacts to exercise.

Keep it safe

To reduce the risk of injury while exercising, start slowly. Remember to warm up before you exercise and cool down afterward. Build up the intensity of your workouts gradually.

Stop exercising and seek immediate medical care if you experience any warning signs during exercise, including:

• Chest pain or tightness

• Dizziness or faintness

• Pain in an arm or your jaw

• Severe shortness of breath

• An irregular heartbeat

• Excessive fatigue

Monitor your progress

The only way to detect high blood pressure is to keep track of your blood pressure readings. Have your blood pressure checked at each doctor’s visit, or use a home blood pressure monitor. If you already have high blood pressure, home monitoring can let you know if your fitness routine is helping to lower your blood pressure, and may make it so you don’t need to visit the doctor to have your blood pressure checked as often.

If you decide to monitor your blood pressure at home, you’ll get the most accurate readings if you check your blood pressure before you exercise, or at least one hour after exercising.

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

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Dear Friends,

I would like to share an exceptional article written by Mr. Charles Krauthammer, which appeared today 10 December 2010. 

Mr. Krauthammer was the recipient of the 1987 Pulitzer Prize for distinguished commentary.   He writes an internationally syndicated column for The Washington Post Writers Group, and was named by the Financial Times as America’s most influential commentator.

Mr. Krauthammer began writing the weekly column for The Washington Post in January 1985, which now appears in more than 180 newspapers.

Mrs. Figgins

 

Mr. Krauthammer

 

Swindle of the Year

By Charles Krauthammer · Friday, December 10, 2010

WASHINGTON — Barack Obama won the great tax-cut showdown of 2010 — and House Democrats don’t have a clue that he did. In the deal struck this week, the president negotiated the biggest stimulus in American history, larger than his $814 billion 2009 stimulus package. It will pump a trillion borrowed Chinese dollars into the U.S. economy over the next two years — which just happen to be the two years of the run-up to the next presidential election. This is a defeat?

If Obama had asked for a second stimulus directly, he would have been laughed out of town. Stimulus I was so reviled that the Democrats banished the word from their lexicon throughout the 2010 campaign. And yet, despite a very weak post-election hand, Obama got the Republicans to offer to increase spending and cut taxes by $990 billion over two years — $630 billion of it above and beyond extension of the Bush tax cuts.

No mean achievement. After all, these are the same Republicans who spent 2010 running on limited government and reducing debt. And this budget busting occurs less than a week after the president’s deficit commission had supposedly signaled a new national consensus of austerity and frugality.

Some Republicans are crowing that Stimulus II is the Republican way — mostly tax cuts — rather than the Democrats’ spending orgy of Stimulus I. That’s consolation? This just means that Republicans are two years too late. Stimulus II will still blow another near-$1 trillion hole in the budget.

At great cost that will have to be paid after this newest free lunch, the package will add as much as 1 percent to GDP and lower the unemployment rate by about 1.5 percentage points. That could easily be the difference between victory and defeat in 2012.

Obama is no fool. While getting Republicans to boost his own re-election chances, he gets them to make a mockery of their newfound, second-chance, post-Bush, tea-party, this-time-we’re-serious persona of debt-averse fiscal responsibility.

And he gets all this in return for what? For a mere two-year postponement of a mere 4.6-point increase in marginal tax rates for upper incomes. And an estate tax rate of 35 percent — it jumps insanely from zero to 55 percent on Jan. 1 — that is somewhat lower than what the Democrats wanted.

No, cries the left: Obama violated a sacred principle. A 39.6 percent tax rate versus 35 percent is a principle? “This is the public option debate all over again,” said Obama at his Tuesday news conference. He is right. The left never understood that to nationalize health care there is no need for a public option because Obamacare turns the private insurers into public utilities. The left is similarly clueless on the tax cut deal: In exchange for temporarily forgoing a small rise in upper-income rates, Obama pulled out of a hat a massive new stimulus — what the left has been begging for since the failure of Stimulus I, but was heretofore politically unattainable.

Obama’s public exasperation with this infantile leftism is both perfectly understandable and politically adept. It is his way back to at least the appearance of centrist moderation. The only way he will get a second look from the independents who elected him in 2008 — and abandoned the Democrats in 2010 — is by changing the prevailing (and correct) perception that he is a man of the left.

Hence that news-conference attack on what the administration calls the “professional left” for its combination of sanctimony and myopia. It was Obama’s Sister Souljah moment. It had a prickly, irritated sincerity — their ideological stupidity and inability to see the “long game” really do get under Obama’s skin — but a decidedly calculated quality, too. Where, after all, does the left go? Stay home on Election Day 2012? Vote Republican?

No, says the current buzz, the left will instead challenge Obama for the Democratic nomination. Really now? For decades, African-Americans have been this party’s most loyal constituency. They vote 9-1 Democratic through hell and high water, through impeachment and recession, through everything. After four centuries of enduring much, African-Americans finally see one of their own achieve the presidency. And their own party is going to deny him a shot at his own re-election?

Not even Democrats are that stupid. The remaining question is whether they are just stupid enough to not understand — and therefore vote down — the swindle of the year just pulled off by their own president.

 

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Traditions!

 

Dear Mrs Figgins:

I am 42 years old and never thought I would settle down.  I’ve met a Japanese girl that has turned my whole life around and I want to ask her to share my life with me. 

Her parents are from Japan and very traditional.  I need to get this right and you can probably tell that I am not Japanese.  What is the most proper way to go about this?

Jeremy, WA   

 

Dear Jeremy,

Japan is a country of traditions and showing respect to this rich and wonderful culture is very important. 

I suggest you find the most romantic and charming way of proposing.   

After you have proposed, and if she says “YES”, then one of the most important steps you’ll ever take is meeting with her parents to discuss your intentions and ask for her hand in marriage.   

When you meet with them for this purpose, bring a small gift.  Make sure you ask both parents at the same time.   Perhaps your girlfriend can help you learn a few key and appropriate sentences in Japanese.  This little bit of goodwill is certain to endear the in-laws..   

Family and friends will understand that you may not be familiar with Japanese etiquette, so don’t be afraid to ask for help in navigating thru custom intricacies.

Our appreciation to Shizuko Mishima for the following:

Many weddings take place in spring and fall in Japan. Most weddings are held at hotels or wedding halls where chapels and shrines are conveniently located within the facilities. A Japanese wedding ceremony may be Shinto, Christian, Buddhist, or non-religious styles. Couples choose the style of their wedding ceremonies, and it doesn’t necessarily match with one’s religion. Non-Christian couples often have their weddings at chapels in Japan.

Traditional Japanese wedding ceremonies are Shinto-style and are held at shrines. Brides wear traditional wedding kimono called shiromuku (white kimono robe), and grooms wear montsuki (black formal kimono), haori  (kimono jacket), and hakama (kimono pants).

It’s common that only family members and close relatives of couples attend Shinto-style wedding ceremonies. A ceremony includes sake drinking rituals, exchanging wedding rings, and more. There are neither bridesmaids nor a best man. Traditionally an older married couple called nakoudo (matchmaker) attend a Japanese wedding ceremony, but this tradition isn’t often observed in recent years.

After wedding ceremonies, wedding reception parties called “kekkon hiroen” are held. The style and scale of wedding receptions vary depending on the regions. Typically, relatives, friends, co-workers, and neighbors are invited to wedding receptions. People usually dress formally to attend a Japanese wedding. Female guests wear dresses, suits, or kimono. Male guests wear black formal suits.

When you receive an invitation card to a wedding reception, you need to return the enclosed card and let them know if you can attend or not as soon as possible. If you are attending a Japanese wedding reception, you are expected to bring cash for a gift. The amount depends on your relationship with the couple and the region, unless fixed amount is indicated in the invitation card. It is recommended to ask someone who is attending the same wedding. The average is 30,000 yen for a friend’s wedding. It’s important that the cash is enclosed in a special envelope called shugi-bukuro, and your name is written on the front. It’s polite to use new bills with no creasing. When you go to the party, hand the envelope to the person at the reception desk and sign your name in the guestbook.

During a wedding reception, the married couple sits on a stage, enjoying the guests’ speeches and performances. Many people sing congratulating songs for the couple. It’s typical for the couple to cut a wedding cake and to walk around the reception room, lighting the candles and greeting guests. A full course meal is often served. It’s common for the bride and broom to change costumes a couple of times. Colorful wedding kimono worn by brides are called iro-uchikake.

Wedding souvenirs are called hikidemono in Japanese. They are often tablewares, sweets, interiors, and so on. In recent years, gift catalogs from which guests can choose gifts are popular for hikidemono. The average cost of a typical Japanese wedding is said to be a couple million yen, and the number of guest ranges from 50 to 200 for an average couple.

Best Wishes!

Mrs Figgins         

    

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

 

 

Etiquette,How To,Love,Relationships,advice