Ask Mrs Figgins
- Free Advice & opinion on everyday issues – marriage, children, friendship, love, etiquette, politics & faith – dispensed by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Wings

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins,

I am married now 17 years having two childrens and my sexual desires is very high naturally.

My wife doesn’t,  i am trying long to have anal intercourse with her but she doesn’t let me for reason of stitches because of  child birth to my second child of  8 years now.

Also she refuses oral sex in all my marriage..

Please advise me on what I must do.  I am 46 years old and she is 39 years old.  We are from a different culture.   

Awaiting your best advice.

Mr. Muhammad

 

Dear Mr. Muhammad,

Love making should be a pleasurable experience regardless of background or culture.   And you  must honor your wife and her wishes, most especially if it causes her pain.

This said, it is important that she also find ways to give you pleasure which are not painful to her in any way.

Discuss your feelings and desires with your wife in a calm and loving manner.   Let her know how important her feelings are to you, and how important intimacy with her is to you.  

Your situation is not uncommon, and it may be wise to seek marriage counseling. 

Remember…communication is very very important in any relationship.

With love, kindness, romance and communication it can be worked out.

Mrs. Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Love,Relationships,advice

Waiting???

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins,

 I have a Ex boyfriend that I am now his friend because I had broke up
with him, because I felt he was not spending enough time with me. 

He was stright forward with me when he said he was a very busy man, he
is trying to build his own business, so his time is taken, he barly
has time for even himself, let alone me.

He wants me to wait for him, I know he has no other women in his life but me, I honestly and truly believe him, we have decided to be friends and wait for each other and not see anyone else.

I have real strong feelings for him, but with him he care’s enough to want me in his life when he is ready I want him back I want to know what kind of advice you can give me on this matter.

I want to be his shelter in a storm, hissunshine when it rains,so when he does have that little itty bit of time I want to let him know and feel this when we are together and reasure I am here for him always. give me any kind of advice you can give.

thank you so much.

Lina V. 

 

Dear Lina,

Well, sounds like nothing has changed, so what is different in your mind? You are in the same boat now as you were before.

He has been honest with you in saying that he wants to “just be friends and wait”.   And, you have agreed.

Since he isn’t willing or able to make a commitment, you should move on with your life.   Go out with other friends and open yourself to dating. 

Waiting for “marriage” is appropriate and wise.   That said, when he finds the girl that makes “the” difference in his life, he will suddenly make the time and commitment.

When you respect yourself, Lina, life has a way of sorting things out.

Mrs. Figgins

 www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Love,Relationships,advice

Secrets?

Dear Mrs. Figgins: 

I am 25 years old.    I’ve been “involved” for 4 years with a man who is in the military.

We see each other whenever he’s home.  

He writes and calls every week.  For 3 years he’s told me he wants us to marry but wants to “wait for the right time” to announce it to his parents and the world.  Well, that time never seems to come.  I love him and I want to marry him.  

We were last together in June for two weeks.  Everything was great until two days before he left.  All of a sudden, he was detached, even cold.  He left town a day early saying he had a “secret” stop to make.  So secret, he couldn’t tell me any of the details.  I thought it was a military secret! 

Since then, he has only called once, and admitted that he needed to get away for a couple of days to “think”.  He says he’s ashamed he had to lie, but needed time to figure out what he wants to do when he comes back home.  I asked him if there is another woman and he says there isn’t.  I’ve not heard from him since. 

I’m close to his family and they’ve told me that he’ll be coming home for the holidays.  I don’t want drag them into the middle of this, but I miss him so much and want to see him. 

What can I do to talk some sense into him, and let him know how much I love him? 

CK in Fla   

 

Dear CK:   

Don’t drag his parents into your drama, and don’t chase him when he visits his family during the holidays.  If you do, he may well start the cycle all over again.  And if he does, so will the deceit.  Is this what you want for your future? 

He’s moved on.  You need to have the self respect to do the same.  

Go out with your friends and be open to new experiences.  

Your best years are still ahead.  Don’t waste them.  

Mrs. Figgins

Love,Relationships,advice