Ask Mrs Figgins
- Free Advice & opinion on everyday issues – marriage, children, friendship, love, etiquette, politics & faith – dispensed by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Oh boy…kids!!!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I am a 34 year old man who has been in a relationship with a woman for several years.  She has a seven year old son from a previous marriage.  I would like to have a child of my own as well, and I brought up that desire since we’ve planned to get married in the near future. The problem is she doesn’t want to have another child, mainly because of her age (39) and fear of having a sick child.

Of course she is not getting any younger and continues to resist the idea.  I just don’t know what to do. I would feel very guilty of breaking this relationship and hurting her, as well as her son with whom I developed a bond over the years. 

Although, he does have a father in his life who shares custody.  Also, my parents are devastated she doesn’t want kids with me and it’s all taking a toll.

I just don’t know how to handle this in the best way.

Thanks for your time. 

Allen   

 

Dear Allen:

She has been very honest with you about her feelings.  And, her reasons for not wanting another child is understandable, and not because she doesn’t love you. 

In turn, you must search your heart and figure out if her decision is something you can live with, or if you’ll resent it in the future.

If your desire to have a child is ultimately important – staying in a relationship out of guilt is not a good enough reason.

The best way to ever handle anything is to be honest.   

You must be courageous, kind and let her know the reason you breaking off the relationship because of your desire to become a father.

Time will take care of the rest.

Mrs. Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Children Issues,Love,Relationships,advice

Wrong Guy

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

If my fiancé of two years lies to me all the Time should I leave him.  I find stupid lies everyday

And who knows how many I have not found. Recently I found a girls number added to his Contacts…he says he can’t remember who she Is or why he added her..it’s only been two weeks.

 So who knows how deep this lie goes. I feel like he just treats me like a fool by lying all the time. I don’t want to ruin my life. I have told him every time that I will leave him for lying … Yet he never stops.

It’s going to drive me crazy..I love him..but this is not the way I think people should live.  Should I just move on?…love or not.

Deb, Toronto

 

Dear Deb:

He never stops lying and you never leave – so what exactly is puzzling you?

You’re with a liar and a cheat.  And he’s with a fool.

So now answer the question yourself:   Should you leave?

Mrs. Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

advice

Lets Be Friends!

 

 

 “I am gay,” she said,

and paused while we collectively stopped breathing. 

she continued,

“I am lesbian. I am black. I am white.  I am Native American.

I am Christian. I am Jew. I am Muslim.”

Dr. Maya Angelou

 

 

 

Love,One Village,Topics

ASPS

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

 My 14 year old is really into basketball, she’s a freshman

in highschool and she wants to join the team.  The only problem is

that she’s been having problems with her chest when she tries to play

and we were told by her doctor that there is no way she can play this

year without a reduction surgery.  She has a F cup bust size and she

is eligable for the surgery but I still feel like she is too young

and might regret it later in life.  Dispite the pain, she still

practices every day and I would feel so bad telling her no.  Any

advice you could give to me would be appreciated. 

Thanks

SK

 

Dear SK:

Breast augmentation – breast reduction – is a major step for most women, and not uncommon in young women.  It often plays a very positive role helping boost self-esteem and body image. 

Your daughter may benefit greatly from breast reduction.

However, the need for careful screening by a board certified doctor is critical.  It is not just the physical examination; it’s also an assessment of patients’ emotional and mental health and stability.  Remember the  consultation is a 2-way street.  You should assess the surgeon to determine whether he or she is competent, caring, and appropriate.  And the surgeon assesses the patient for appropriateness for the surgery.

 

Do your homework!

You should never do surgery — at any age or in any patient — unless the benefits outweigh the risks and the improvement that’s possible is greater than the costs and risks of surgery.

“The American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) is the largest plastic surgery specialty organization in the world. Founded in 1931, the society is composed of board-certified plastic surgeons who perform cosmetic and reconstructive surgery.”

Whether you’re considering cosmetic or reconstructive plastic surgery, you want the skill of an ASPS Member Surgeon—a doctor with more than six years of surgical training and experience, with at least three years specifically in plastic surgery. Their training and experience make them uniquely qualified to perform your cosmetic or reconstructive procedure.”

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/ 

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Media/Briefing_Papers/Plastic_Surgery_for_Teenagers.html

 

Mrs. Figgins

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Children Issues,How To,Love,Relationships,advice

The “Date”

 

Dear Mrs Figgins:

I’m 35, widowed and no children.  I’m going on my first date in five years.  He is a friend of friends and by all reports he’s quite a lovely man.  I’m excited and a nervous wreck and I would appreciate any advice.

Nervous Nelly in Nevada:

 

Dear Nervous Nelly:

No need to be nervous.   The worst that can happen is that there’s no chemistry.  

My advice is keep it light and just be you.  You’ll know soon enough if you two “click”. 

You just may well end up having a wonderful time, and want an encore.

Good  Luck!

Mrs Figgins             

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

How To,Love,Relationships,advice