Ask Mrs Figgins
- Free Advice & opinion on everyday issues – marriage, children, friendship, love, etiquette, politics & faith – dispensed by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Oh boy…kids!!!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

I am a 34 year old man who has been in a relationship with a woman for several years.  She has a seven year old son from a previous marriage.  I would like to have a child of my own as well, and I brought up that desire since we’ve planned to get married in the near future. The problem is she doesn’t want to have another child, mainly because of her age (39) and fear of having a sick child.

Of course she is not getting any younger and continues to resist the idea.  I just don’t know what to do. I would feel very guilty of breaking this relationship and hurting her, as well as her son with whom I developed a bond over the years. 

Although, he does have a father in his life who shares custody.  Also, my parents are devastated she doesn’t want kids with me and it’s all taking a toll.

I just don’t know how to handle this in the best way.

Thanks for your time. 

Allen   

 

Dear Allen:

She has been very honest with you about her feelings.  And, her reasons for not wanting another child is understandable, and not because she doesn’t love you. 

In turn, you must search your heart and figure out if her decision is something you can live with, or if you’ll resent it in the future.

If your desire to have a child is ultimately important – staying in a relationship out of guilt is not a good enough reason.

The best way to ever handle anything is to be honest.   

You must be courageous, kind and let her know the reason you breaking off the relationship because of your desire to become a father.

Time will take care of the rest.

Mrs. Figgins

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Children Issues, Love, Relationships, advice

Wrong Guy

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

If my fiancé of two years lies to me all the Time should I leave him.  I find stupid lies everyday

And who knows how many I have not found. Recently I found a girls number added to his Contacts…he says he can’t remember who she Is or why he added her..it’s only been two weeks.

 So who knows how deep this lie goes. I feel like he just treats me like a fool by lying all the time. I don’t want to ruin my life. I have told him every time that I will leave him for lying … Yet he never stops.

It’s going to drive me crazy..I love him..but this is not the way I think people should live.  Should I just move on?…love or not.

Deb, Toronto

 

Dear Deb:

He never stops lying and you never leave – so what exactly is puzzling you?

You’re with a liar and a cheat.  And he’s with a fool.

So now answer the question yourself:   Should you leave?

Mrs. Figgins

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

advice

ASPS

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

 My 14 year old is really into basketball, she’s a freshman

in highschool and she wants to join the team.  The only problem is

that she’s been having problems with her chest when she tries to play

and we were told by her doctor that there is no way she can play this

year without a reduction surgery.  She has a F cup bust size and she

is eligable for the surgery but I still feel like she is too young

and might regret it later in life.  Dispite the pain, she still

practices every day and I would feel so bad telling her no.  Any

advice you could give to me would be appreciated. 

Thanks

SK

 

Dear SK:

Breast augmentation – breast reduction – is a major step for most women, and not uncommon in young women.  It often plays a very positive role helping boost self-esteem and body image. 

Your daughter may benefit greatly from breast reduction.

However, the need for careful screening by a board certified doctor is critical.  It is not just the physical examination; it’s also an assessment of patients’ emotional and mental health and stability.  Remember the  consultation is a 2-way street.  You should assess the surgeon to determine whether he or she is competent, caring, and appropriate.  And the surgeon assesses the patient for appropriateness for the surgery.

 

Do your homework!

You should never do surgery — at any age or in any patient — unless the benefits outweigh the risks and the improvement that’s possible is greater than the costs and risks of surgery.

“The American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) is the largest plastic surgery specialty organization in the world. Founded in 1931, the society is composed of board-certified plastic surgeons who perform cosmetic and reconstructive surgery.”

Whether you’re considering cosmetic or reconstructive plastic surgery, you want the skill of an ASPS Member Surgeon—a doctor with more than six years of surgical training and experience, with at least three years specifically in plastic surgery. Their training and experience make them uniquely qualified to perform your cosmetic or reconstructive procedure.”

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/ 

http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Media/Briefing_Papers/Plastic_Surgery_for_Teenagers.html

 

Mrs. Figgins

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Children Issues, How To, Love, Relationships, advice

The “Date”

 

Dear Mrs Figgins:

I’m 35, widowed and no children.  I’m going on my first date in five years.  He is a friend of friends and by all reports he’s quite a lovely man.  I’m excited and a nervous wreck and I would appreciate any advice.

Nervous Nelly in Nevada:

 

Dear Nervous Nelly:

No need to be nervous.   The worst that can happen is that there’s no chemistry.  

My advice is keep it light and just be you.  You’ll know soon enough if you two “click”. 

You just may well end up having a wonderful time, and want an encore.

Good  Luck!

Mrs Figgins             

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

How To, Love, Relationships, advice

 

Character Counts

 

Dear Mrs Figgins:

I need to break up with my boyfriend so how do I do it?  I love him but I don’t want to be with h him anymore.

Melinda, San Antonio

 

Dear Melinda:

Love is like war – sweet to begin, bitter to end. 

And how one ends, is a measure of a person’s character.    

Mrs. Figgins

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

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Keeping Us Free

 

Dear Friends:

It is because of the brave men and women in the military that we are free.   We thank and honor them.

And, we must ensure that the government provide the defense spending to keep our troops and America safe.  

I am grateful to the Heritage Foundation for allowing us to share the following article with you. 

May GOD Bless Our Troops & The United States of America.

Mrs. Figgins

 

 

Honor Our Veterans by Providing for the Common Defense

The Heritage Foundation honors America’s men and women who died in military service.  And there is no better way to do that than to push for adequate support for our armed services.  The preamble of the constitution clearly gives the federal government the responsibility to “provide for the common defense.”  But that goal cannot be reached without proper defense spending and investments. 

 

Military Shrinking

Today’s military is roughly half the size it was in the early 1990s. The Army has gone from 18 divisions during Desert Storm to 10; the Air Force has gone from 37 tactical air wings to 20; and the Navy has gone from 568 ships in the late 1980s to a fleet of only 276 today. 

 

Missile Defense Defunded

Iran has successfully launched a long-range missile capable of hitting Israel and other countries in the Middle East, even as Tehran has continued to engage in diplomatic duplicity. And countries like North Korea, China, and Russia have reportedly worked to achieve electromagnetic pulse capabilities. It only makes sense that if our enemies have ballistic missile programs, we should have missile defense technologies.  Yet, at the request of President Obama and Defense Secretary Gates, Congress has reduced missile defense funding and pulled out of the third site in Poland.  The president’s pursuit of a is promising, but, at present, only 20 Navy ships have been sea-based ballistic missile defense program modified for BMD capabilities. Navy officials hope to outfit 67 ships, and they’ll need additional funding to do that. See The Heritage Foundation’s documentary called 33 Minutes on the urgent call to protect America

 

Equipment Aging

Much of the military’s equipment is old and increasingly unreliable, and its technological edge is at risk. 

• The average age of Air Force aircraft in 1973 was just nine years. The average aircraft today is 24 years old, while aircraft modernization funding has faced shortfalls of up to $20 billion in recent years. The Air Force acquisition budget is 30 percent short of the amount necessary to fund equipment purchases and upgrades. 

• The Pentagon purchased an average of 238 Air Force fighters and five tanker aircraft each year from 1975–1990, compared to only 28 from 1991 to 2000.

• This dramatic reduction in our fighter force is happening at the same time F-15’s are falling out of the sky because they’ve been patched up so many times.

• The Joint Strike Fighter plane will constitute 90 percent of all U.S. fighters in 2035. Because it is a single-engine plane, unless there is an alternate engine available, an engine error could lead to a system-wide grounding of every aircraft until the problem is identified and fixed. Yet, Congress has questioned whether to continue to fund an alternate engine for the JSF.   

• The Navy faces a substantial shortfall in fighter aircraft inventories and budgetary obstacles to its 30-year shipbuilding plan.

• Poor readiness reports even led the Navy to pause the entire worldwide U.S. surface fleet in 2008.

After the Cold War ended, the Clinton Administration believed an era of peace was at hand. Consequently, the President and Congress cut both the size of the military and the funding for modernization far below what was necessary to sustain American capabilities.  While President George W. Bush increased spending on the military, it was not enough to remedy the shortfalls of the 1990s, particularly with ongoing operations overseas since 2001. As a result, the military’s capital inventory has become largely outdated.

The impact of collective decisions made over the past 15 years and the operations tempo of U.S. forces abroad means that today America is in danger of losing vital core security capabilities without increased investment. This includes the potential loss of core defense capabilities such as air dominance, maritime control, space control, and projecting power to distant regions.

In order to honor our military heroes and provide for the common defense of America, we must devote the resources we need to the military. 

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

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Different!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

Why can’t a girl think more like a man?  They know nothing about what make a car run. They can’t even change the oil for goodness sake!

Jeremy, Brussels

 

Dear Jeremy:

It’s true, most girls think in terms of “oil sticks…oil doesn’t stick”.  And, that’s the extent of their mechanical interests. 

However, wouldn’t it be grand if boys could think like girls “it either gets you there…or it doesn’t”.    And, that’s the short answer to most of life’s questions.

Mrs. Figgins

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

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What’s the Answer?

 

Mrs Figgins Trivia Question!

 

Question:

What U.S. President refused to use the telephone while in office?

A:  Herbert Hoover

B:  Richard Nixon

C:  Calvin Coolidge

D:  Warren G. Harding

 

Answer:

Calvin Coolidge refused to use the telephone while he was President.

A man of few words, he once said, “If you don’t say anything, you won’t be called on to repeat it.”

 

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

Favorite Finds, advice

What's the Answer?

 

Mrs. Figgins Trivia Question!

 

Question:

Who wrote the wedding march “Here Comes The Bride”?

A:  Richard Rogers

B:  Neil Sedaka

C:  Mozart

D:  Richard Wagner

 

Answer:

The ‘Here Comes The Bride’ wedding march is by Richard Wagner, from the opera Lohengrin.

There are other wedding marches by Bach, Mendelssohn and Handel.

 

 

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Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

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A good idea!

 

Dear Mrs. Figgins:

My sister-in-law makes a fool of my brother.  When he drinks he gets a little loud but she makes it much worse by scolding him in front of people. 

I’m getting to the point where I’m going to say something to her.  What should I do?

Jonelle,  TN

 

Dear Jonelle:

Women don’t make fools of men.  Most men achieve that little trick  just fine on their own.

If you need to do something, start by minding your own business.

Mrs. Figgins

 

 

www.askmrsfiggins.com

Advice & opinion on everyday issues by Mrs Figgins with common sense & good old-fashioned-values!

 

Love, Relationships, advice